You could try doing something more unique. I’m with you on hating the blandness of Thanksgiving food. I started throwing in a few non traditional dishes which horrifies the traditional busy bodies and have been really popular with everyone else. I also let the just haves bring their own.

I’ve done…

Spicy Mexican pulled turkey tacos
Grilled turkey burgers served with a cranberry bacon jam
Sweet potato chips and corn salsa
Grilled corn with Mexica chili, lime and butter served with jalapeño crema
Cranberry margaritas
Eggs Benedict with a turkey sweet potato hash
Pumpkin waffles and ice cream

My FIL complained that DH and I didn't make mashed rutabega, creamed onions and oyster dressing on top of the full feast, from scratch, that we already made. DH told him "Hey, you want that stuff, you bring it from now on." And apparently it wasn't that important, because he hasn't bothered to bring it, but he also hasn't complained again.

Anonymous wrote:Thanks you all! Good ideas and I am feeling better.

Good for you, OP. I announce up front that I am making:
Turkey
Mashed potatoes
Dressing
Boiled cranberry sauce
Roasted asparagus
Pumpkin pie
Pecan pie

I announce that I am buying gravy. If you “must have” homemade gravy or canned cranberry or a different pie, you are bringing it. Or you can talk to my husband, who makes a few “must have” dishes of his own.

DH cleans up and asks his family to help. If it’s my family, they already volunteer. I sip wine while they clean.

Thanks you all! Good ideas and I am feeling better.

Anonymous wrote:Why are you catering to them? You host, you let them know what you are making, and you let them know they are welcome to bring whatever they like.

My mom tried for years to please everyone, including my picky dad. Finally she said, screw it: here’s the menu, bring what you want. She no longer made mac and cheese because one of her nephews likes it—he actually learned, as a teenager, how to make it and bring it. It became his special thing. Other people brought pies, because my mom was like, I’m making pumpkin. End of list.

+1
You make what you want to make. Tell everyone what you are making. And let them know to FYI you on anything else they plan to bring. You are nuts to cater to food preferences when you are the one hosting everyone

Do what you want, outsource what you don’t want. This is the way happy hosts/hostesses have been doing it for years.

If you write it down, you only need to spend one hour of planning, once. It doesn’t take “20 hours.” Search the archives: several people have posted their Thanksgiving plan. One poster called it her “Run of Show.”

Anonymous wrote:If I’m hosting, I make the menu things I like. If people have “must have” dishes, we potluck those. I’m making ham and macaroni and cheese because I don’t like turkey or mashed potatoes, yet I was told by MIL that I will be hosting…

You allowed MIL to tell you that you would be hosting. I’d laugh in my MIL’s face if she pulled that crap with me, or I’d smile and nod and say out loud, “Hey Brian, your mom says you are hosting Thanksgiving this year!”

Why are you catering to them? You host, you let them know what you are making, and you let them know they are welcome to bring whatever they like.

My mom tried for years to please everyone, including my picky dad. Finally she said, screw it: here’s the menu, bring what you want. She no longer made mac and cheese because one of her nephews likes it—he actually learned, as a teenager, how to make it and bring it. It became his special thing. Other people brought pies, because my mom was like, I’m making pumpkin. End of list.

You've got some great suggestions, OP. I would also add that these days most grocery stores offer the ability to pre order all kinds of dishes. If you need to meet certain preferences / dietary restrictions, order those, and then you can save your cooking energy for unusual/unique dishes you want to include.

Also, maybe add a fun activity. NPR Story Corps has something called "The Great Listen" which is a way to encourage people to tell stories. Or get a fun game, or a movie that will appeal to the group.

If I’m hosting, I make the menu things I like. If people have “must have” dishes, we potluck those. I’m making ham and macaroni and cheese because I don’t like turkey or mashed potatoes, yet I was told by MIL that I will be hosting…

I got tired of doing all of the cooking and catering to everyone’s diets so now I have everyone bring a side.

Could also invite friends over for dessert buffet (everyone brings something) and game night after your meal (if you can serve the meal in the afternoon, get it out of the way, and send the grandparents home).

Yes, do a Friendsgiving! Those are the best. And make half of the food what you like if you are putting in all the effort to cook. Do turkey, mashed potatoes, stuffing a la boring and then the rest your style of food.

See if any friends will be in town and invite them as well to liven things up

I am looking ahead (but not forward) to Thanksgiving, which I generally host, and over the years I have come to somewhat loathe.

We have one kid and will have one set of grandparents coming. I might invite another elderly couple of relatives, but not sure if they will come. In the past, sometimes my sister and her kids travel this way, but this year sadly they are not. So it's kind of a boring size of party, with people we see all the time, and only one young person.

The other thing is that I don't love is the food. I always try to do something that I can get excited about (like, this year, we're going to smoke the turkey! Or, this year, I ordered a heritage turkey! This year I'm doing cornish hens! ETC) but basically I find the food part annoying because this group does not like the same things and some people have diet restrictions so I end up making a bunch of really boring bland dishes that are not necessarily my favorites or the things I grew up with. And it's a lot of work for boring!! It's like 20+ hours of planning, shopping and cooking and 15 minutes of eating.

So, we could go out and maybe I'll go for that this year, though there's been some pushback on that idea in years past.

I don't know exactly why I'm hating on Thanksgiving so much. Maybe I wish it was more of my own family? (They are far away and rotate seeing their own inlaws and etc for the holiday.) What are you doing to make Thanksgiving fun?