I'm a guy, mid 40s. I've had the same set of "good" friends for about 20 years. 2 high school friends are my best friends and 2-3 friends from college are good friends. Sadly, I haven't really made new friends after college.

The other sad part is that most of these guys live out of state so I rarely see them.

I am 36 and have almost no friends. This has been a lifelong struggle for me.

I have a group of 5 women that I am very close with and text and talk to daily (we hang out occasionally and go on vacation together)

I have a group of 2 guys that I text daily (we never hang out)

I have my BF who I text with every few days (lives in another state, last saw each other this summer but previously visited 2-3 times a year)

Then a few women that I text with at least once a week. We hang out every couple weeks to a few months.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Maybe 10-15. Every week by text/WhatsApp, and I see the local ones every few weeks or so. I have a permanent WhatsApp conversation going with a group of high school friends. I'm 38.

You have 15 close friends! Wow...how do you have time for this? Honest Q.

It doesn't take long to stay connected by text. I check in, they check in, we share pictures, articles and memes we enjoy, etc. Most of them aren't local and I see them maybe once a year or less for some, but we're up to date on each other's lives and if I had a problem I know I could go to them for help.

Probably 5. Sadly none of them are local! I text them multiple times a day. I do have local friends, but they aren’t my closest friends.

Anonymous wrote:Maybe 10-15. Every week by text/WhatsApp, and I see the local ones every few weeks or so. I have a permanent WhatsApp conversation going with a group of high school friends. I'm 38.

You have 15 close friends! Wow...how do you have time for this? Honest Q.

I have 3 close friends from childhood and three friends that I made more recently (last 5-10 years).

Anonymous wrote:How do you define close?

This. Was just thinking about this. I'm 41. I have about 5 people I think of as "close friends" and see and talk to often. But.... I have some mental health stuff going on in my life right now, I'm trying and failing to find a therapist, and I honestly feel like there is no one I can really talk to about it. Not even my husband. I can about the fact that I have these issues, but I can't really talk about the issues.

Life is lonely, honestly. Often you are really just on your own, even when you have cultivated close family relationships and friendships. As you age, people have less bandwidth for you and you just have to figure this stuff out on your own.

I am really fortunate I have groups of friends from various stages in my life. 2 life long friends; a group of 3 women from college and a larger group of 12 from my 20s. In the larger group, there are a few women I'm closer to, but they are all wonderful friends (that's why we're still friends).

Recently I've made neighborhood friends, that was really spurred by a combination of my DD starting K, and the pandemic (meeting everyone in the 1/2 mile around my house!). I'd say 2 of those women are close friends now, and there is a wider community of friendly acquaintances mixed in.

While I am not always The Connector, I seem to befriend that person really well, and then get pulled into absolutely fantastic groups. I do feel like a good amount of my adult-friend groups have been luck and good chemistry.

Two local close friends from college: one I meet up with for lunch or coffee or drinks every 2-3 weeks, the other lives closer and we take walks or meet up more spontaneously.

Two neighbor friends that are less intense friendships but I see them regularly and can count on them if I need to.

On a group text with 4 other women who are a mix of local and in other cities. Don't see them super often (we take short trips in non-pandemic times) but count them as close friends.

Maybe 4 other women I am in fairly frequent contact with and I like and could reach out to anytime but really only see rarely.

If I needed help or emotional support it's hard to quantify who I have in my corner, but I feel supported because I have a number of people I could turn to for different things (issues with parenting, work, family, personal, etc...).

I was not a "connector" type of person until my mid-30s, and I have naturally developed into a professional connector and less of a personal connector, which was a surprise to me but I am very happy and it's natural.

How do you define close?

Maybe 10-15. Every week by text/WhatsApp, and I see the local ones every few weeks or so. I have a permanent WhatsApp conversation going with a group of high school friends. I'm 38.

1 and weekly/biweekly outings.

I have a few could-be close friends.

5 -8 or so.

probably 1-2x per year for ones far away. once every other month for ones closer.

constantly in communication via text though

And how often do you see them in person or text with them?