Hi op - there is a happy medium between what the pps are suggesting (just close the door) that is still sleep training and will help your situation and will involve some crying but is still responsive to your baby. Follow the peaceful sleeper on Instagram and consider doing a consultation. We worked with Ashley and she was so so so helpful. And they adjust everything to each parents comfort, can take it as gentle as needed. It was really individualized and our lives are soo much better. And during “sleep training” we still responded and soothed, rocked to sleep if a nap failed or baby couldn’t get down, and he still drastically improved within days and is doing better every day. My baby is a little younger but he is so much happier now that he sleeps more consistently. The peaceful sleeper has 4 kids so she understands balancing a variety of needs. She’s the most reasonable sleep person I’ve seen in that regard.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We have a bad sleeper and finally, at nine months, did a strict routine at bedtime and let her cio. I wanted to make sure she had object permanence and knew we were in the other room. We tried checks and it made her madder.

Try a very strict and set bedtime routine first and then try DH giving her water when she wakes up. But you - the breasts - do not go back in! Start at four to six hour stretches.

Can you please outline your bedtime routine?

I do:

Bath
Goodnight to siblings and Dad
In her own bedroom with window shade up enough to allow me light to read and sound machine on
Read a book
Pull shade down and draw curtains for total darkness
Nurse both sides and burp
Rock to sleep (no boob in mouth)

That's one thing I think I did better with this baby, she doesn't have a nurse to sleep association I don't think. Just a rocking/holding to sleep thing. I'll only nurse her again around midnight when I've been giving up and bringing her into our bed for the night. The again at 2, 4, 6 AM whenever she wakes up because I'm right there anyway and may as well get her back to sleep ASAP.

But to be clear I tried to just keep her in her room for weeks until I just gave up in the past few days and started cosleeping.

This is crazy. Put your baby to bed in her crib and return in the morning. You’re not helping her sleep by what you’re doing. In fact you’re causing her to NOT sleep

I guess I'm crazy but I just can't stomach leaving her in her room to scream for hours until she stops trying to signal distress because she knows no one will respond.

I don't need perfect STTN, but I'd love to make an improvement.

You don’t allow her to cry for hours!! One hour tops but do not take her into your bed or nurse her. Have DH go in and pick her up and cuddle her. Offer her water and put her back down.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We have a bad sleeper and finally, at nine months, did a strict routine at bedtime and let her cio. I wanted to make sure she had object permanence and knew we were in the other room. We tried checks and it made her madder.

Try a very strict and set bedtime routine first and then try DH giving her water when she wakes up. But you - the breasts - do not go back in! Start at four to six hour stretches.

Can you please outline your bedtime routine?

I do:

Bath
Goodnight to siblings and Dad
In her own bedroom with window shade up enough to allow me light to read and sound machine on
Read a book
Pull shade down and draw curtains for total darkness
Nurse both sides and burp
Rock to sleep (no boob in mouth)

That's one thing I think I did better with this baby, she doesn't have a nurse to sleep association I don't think. Just a rocking/holding to sleep thing. I'll only nurse her again around midnight when I've been giving up and bringing her into our bed for the night. The again at 2, 4, 6 AM whenever she wakes up because I'm right there anyway and may as well get her back to sleep ASAP.

But to be clear I tried to just keep her in her room for weeks until I just gave up in the past few days and started cosleeping.

This is crazy. Put your baby to bed in her crib and return in the morning. You’re not helping her sleep by what you’re doing. In fact you’re causing her to NOT sleep

I guess I'm crazy but I just can't stomach leaving her in her room to scream for hours until she stops trying to signal distress because she knows no one will respond.

I don't need perfect STTN, but I'd love to make an improvement.

You're already distressing her by depriving her of day sleep. She is overtired. I woudl spend a weekend with one parent focusing solely on her naps and then do cio. You have a kiddo that wont sleep on the go so you have to stop the go somehow. I would pull my pk3 kid or go only 2ce a week to make sure the baby is getting some sleep during the day.

I wonder if it’s GERD. Every 30 minutes sounds like pain to me.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We have a bad sleeper and finally, at nine months, did a strict routine at bedtime and let her cio. I wanted to make sure she had object permanence and knew we were in the other room. We tried checks and it made her madder.

Try a very strict and set bedtime routine first and then try DH giving her water when she wakes up. But you - the breasts - do not go back in! Start at four to six hour stretches.

Can you please outline your bedtime routine?

I do:

Bath
Goodnight to siblings and Dad
In her own bedroom with window shade up enough to allow me light to read and sound machine on
Read a book
Pull shade down and draw curtains for total darkness
Nurse both sides and burp
Rock to sleep (no boob in mouth)

That's one thing I think I did better with this baby, she doesn't have a nurse to sleep association I don't think. Just a rocking/holding to sleep thing. I'll only nurse her again around midnight when I've been giving up and bringing her into our bed for the night. The again at 2, 4, 6 AM whenever she wakes up because I'm right there anyway and may as well get her back to sleep ASAP.

But to be clear I tried to just keep her in her room for weeks until I just gave up in the past few days and started cosleeping.

This is crazy. Put your baby to bed in her crib and return in the morning. You’re not helping her sleep by what you’re doing. In fact you’re causing her to NOT sleep

I guess I'm crazy but I just can't stomach leaving her in her room to scream for hours until she stops trying to signal distress because she knows no one will respond.

I don't need perfect STTN, but I'd love to make an improvement.

Anonymous wrote:Is she teething? My youngest was a terrible sleeper and we later learned she was constantly uncomfortable due to constipation, eczema, and allergies. Once we treated the physical issues she slept better.

I don't think so. Plus, it's been over 3 weeks now and nothing has erupted.

Anonymous wrote:Yikes. Your 6 month old is taking power naps during the day. I am sorry but you have to figure out a better nap routine for your baby during the day. She is associating a car with sleep. At night, you are catering to her way too much. You are saying you have enough yet you are like oh well, I give her the boob every two hours because I am right there. So which is it? You don’t care or you do? If it was me, find a different preschool that is closer to home and put that baby on a schedule

It's not just a preschool. It's a PK-8th that both my children attend. This school is the best fit for my older children. I'm not pulling one out just to make naps work better for my baby.

Is she teething? My youngest was a terrible sleeper and we later learned she was constantly uncomfortable due to constipation, eczema, and allergies. Once we treated the physical issues she slept better.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We have a bad sleeper and finally, at nine months, did a strict routine at bedtime and let her cio. I wanted to make sure she had object permanence and knew we were in the other room. We tried checks and it made her madder.

Try a very strict and set bedtime routine first and then try DH giving her water when she wakes up. But you - the breasts - do not go back in! Start at four to six hour stretches.

Can you please outline your bedtime routine?

I do:

Bath
Goodnight to siblings and Dad
In her own bedroom with window shade up enough to allow me light to read and sound machine on
Read a book
Pull shade down and draw curtains for total darkness
Nurse both sides and burp
Rock to sleep (no boob in mouth)

That's one thing I think I did better with this baby, she doesn't have a nurse to sleep association I don't think. Just a rocking/holding to sleep thing. I'll only nurse her again around midnight when I've been giving up and bringing her into our bed for the night. The again at 2, 4, 6 AM whenever she wakes up because I'm right there anyway and may as well get her back to sleep ASAP.

But to be clear I tried to just keep her in her room for weeks until I just gave up in the past few days and started cosleeping.

Dinner (solids)
Bath
Books
Nurse
Stand up and sing my first song (same every night) while I put on her sleep sack and turn on the sound machine.
Sing second song (again, the same song every night) while holding her and swaying next to the crib.
Hum through the same song.
Kiss and put in the crib.

And then I leave and close the door.

Yes, first couple of nights she cried herself to sleep but it slowly got better.

Yikes. Your 6 month old is taking power naps during the day. I am sorry but you have to figure out a better nap routine for your baby during the day. She is associating a car with sleep. At night, you are catering to her way too much. You are saying you have enough yet you are like oh well, I give her the boob every two hours because I am right there. So which is it? You don’t care or you do? If it was me, find a different preschool that is closer to home and put that baby on a schedule

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We have a bad sleeper and finally, at nine months, did a strict routine at bedtime and let her cio. I wanted to make sure she had object permanence and knew we were in the other room. We tried checks and it made her madder.

Try a very strict and set bedtime routine first and then try DH giving her water when she wakes up. But you - the breasts - do not go back in! Start at four to six hour stretches.

Can you please outline your bedtime routine?

I do:

Bath
Goodnight to siblings and Dad
In her own bedroom with window shade up enough to allow me light to read and sound machine on
Read a book
Pull shade down and draw curtains for total darkness
Nurse both sides and burp
Rock to sleep (no boob in mouth)

That's one thing I think I did better with this baby, she doesn't have a nurse to sleep association I don't think. Just a rocking/holding to sleep thing. I'll only nurse her again around midnight when I've been giving up and bringing her into our bed for the night. The again at 2, 4, 6 AM whenever she wakes up because I'm right there anyway and may as well get her back to sleep ASAP.

But to be clear I tried to just keep her in her room for weeks until I just gave up in the past few days and started cosleeping.

This is crazy. Put your baby to bed in her crib and return in the morning. You’re not helping her sleep by what you’re doing. In fact you’re causing her to NOT sleep

It’s pretty obvious your baby is tired because of the lack of naps. Is he really only napping an hour a day? At that age, he should be napping from 9:30-11 and 2-4/5. I get you have the pickup situation.

All of that said - you’re massively over complicating this. Put your baby to bed and close the door and return in the AM. He will scream bloody murder because he wants to go to your bed. You have to decide if you want to continue robbing your baby of the sleep he desperately needs because you can’t handle hearing him cry.

I’d caution you to make sure to take care of this sooner rather than later. The moms I know who didn’t sleep train ended up having nightmare situations with toddlers who don’t or won’t sleep.

Again - put your baby to bed, close the door and return in the morning. It’s that easy!

Anonymous wrote:We have a bad sleeper and finally, at nine months, did a strict routine at bedtime and let her cio. I wanted to make sure she had object permanence and knew we were in the other room. We tried checks and it made her madder.

Try a very strict and set bedtime routine first and then try DH giving her water when she wakes up. But you - the breasts - do not go back in! Start at four to six hour stretches.

Can you please outline your bedtime routine?

I do:

Bath
Goodnight to siblings and Dad
In her own bedroom with window shade up enough to allow me light to read and sound machine on
Read a book
Pull shade down and draw curtains for total darkness
Nurse both sides and burp
Rock to sleep (no boob in mouth)

That's one thing I think I did better with this baby, she doesn't have a nurse to sleep association I don't think. Just a rocking/holding to sleep thing. I'll only nurse her again around midnight when I've been giving up and bringing her into our bed for the night. The again at 2, 4, 6 AM whenever she wakes up because I'm right there anyway and may as well get her back to sleep ASAP.

But to be clear I tried to just keep her in her room for weeks until I just gave up in the past few days and started cosleeping.

We have a bad sleeper and finally, at nine months, did a strict routine at bedtime and let her cio. I wanted to make sure she had object permanence and knew we were in the other room. We tried checks and it made her madder.

Try a very strict and set bedtime routine first and then try DH giving her water when she wakes up. But you - the breasts - do not go back in! Start at four to six hour stretches.

This has been going on for 3+ weeks.

Part of the problem is that it's impossible to adhere to a nap schedule since I am making one hour round-trip drives to the school 3x per day to drop off and pick up my older children (PK3 is half day, hence the three trips).

So she maybe sleeps 20 mins in the car a few times a day and one 30 min nap in the crib. Then at bedtime she goes through the first sleep cycle (30 min) and wakes up screaming. I go in to rock her and put her back to sleep and she wakes up every time she is lowered into the crib. Same thing if DH tries it. This goes on for hours until we are physically incapable of holding her anymore then I bring her into bed with me where she may finally allow me to lay her down and scoot away but continues to wake up every hour or two. I nurse her to get her back to sleep because I'm beyond exhausted at this point.

I don't want to CIO but I'm feeling like maybe we have no choice? I have two other children to take care of and this is untenable. I'm feeling physically ill from the sleep deprivation. She was in a Snoo until 6 months old so sleep had been pretty good though not great even then. Once we transitioned her to the crib things got bad quickly. I used to be able to put her down drowsy but awake maybe 35% of the time. Now that never works and putting her down asleep isn't working either.

Anyone else BTDT?