Because they are children.

There are people who will deny, deny, deny. Do not believe what your eyes see you or what your ears hear, believe me. Look at Some of our public figures. This is their motto as well. It works for some.

People like this believe a lot of their own lies too. For example, emotional affairs or affairs that are caught before they get started.... it's easy for them to say "I never would have ACTUALLY cheated." They think the only boundary is PIV and if they don't cross it, they're innocent.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What is the evidence, OP?

A former neighbor claimed she heard loud sex noises from our apt. I was home alone. Not pleasuring myself. Not watching anything with sex noises. But she was positive.

Probably the US Open.

Hahahahah

Anonymous wrote:What is the rational behind that?

Imagine having ironclad indisputable proof that your spouse slept with another person. Multiple things confirm it. You share this with them an they swear on the life that it's all wrong. That you are mistaken, that they did not cheat.

What reason is there to deny the truth?

Because they are not interested in getting a divorce or working on the marriage. They don’t love you and they are checked out of the relationship but they don’t want to get a divorce—at least not right now.

I’m really not sure why this is so hard to understand. A person who does this just wants to remain in the current status quo.

Anonymous wrote:Tell them you have proof beyond doubt and are ready to start the divorce proceedings unless they confess.

How does this accomplish anything? This is not something anybody should do unless they are willing to go through with the divorce and actually want a divorce. Someone could just say “OK, let’s get a divorce.”

If someone wants to tell you, they’ll tell you; if someone doesn’t want to tell you, they won’t tell you. You have to decide if you want to stay or not.

I know in my mind that there are reasons why people do things like this, but in my gut I just cannot fathom it. I did things like that as a child; I got so invested in avoiding trouble that I refused to admit something, maybe to the point of actually convincing myself that it was true. But even as a kid I can’t imagine mustering the mental gymnastics to tell my parents they were wrong when they had irrefutable proof.

Are you in the process of divorcing?

Tell them you have proof beyond doubt and are ready to start the divorce proceedings unless they confess.

Anonymous wrote:What is the rational behind that?

Imagine having ironclad indisputable proof that your spouse slept with another person. Multiple things confirm it. You share this with them an they swear on the life that it's all wrong. That you are mistaken, that they did not cheat.

What reason is there to deny the truth?

To cause doubt in your mind. They think that if they just keep denying it you’ll believe them.

Anonymous wrote:What is the evidence, OP?

A former neighbor claimed she heard loud sex noises from our apt. I was home alone. Not pleasuring myself. Not watching anything with sex noises. But she was positive.

Probably the US Open.

What is the evidence, OP?

A former neighbor claimed she heard loud sex noises from our apt. I was home alone. Not pleasuring myself. Not watching anything with sex noises. But she was positive.

Gaslighting is a way of life for some.

Because they think their spouse might accept the denial rather than forcing a change to the status quo.

What is the rational behind that?

Imagine having ironclad indisputable proof that your spouse slept with another person. Multiple things confirm it. You share this with them an they swear on the life that it's all wrong. That you are mistaken, that they did not cheat.

What reason is there to deny the truth?