What if they need to call their friends for help with school work? I did this all the time growing up (with a regular landline phone). My parents got annoyed that they couldn't use the phone, but I certainly did a lot of learning while discussing homework with my friends.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:They need to learn to self regulate before college.

Don’t randomly take it. It should be linked to behavior like bad grades.

LOL at expecting a 15 year old to be able to self regulate with a smartphone. How much time do you spend on your phone each day, PP? Adults can’t even do it. This is why they shouldn’t have smart phones.

This. The people who created these devices often won't allow their own teens to have them. They know it's crack.

I let my 14 yr old have his phone (laptop, tablet, etc) until bed time and it’s charged with all the other devices in the dining room. DS gets done everything he needs to get done like homework (all A’s) and chores just fine so he gets free reign over his electronics.

If you have Verizon service, you can get "Verizon Family" and just shut it off every night. I guess he could still use the home wi-fi, but you can block that as well.

we were in the camp of phone charging in parent's bedroom after 11.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:They need to learn to self regulate before college.

Don’t randomly take it. It should be linked to behavior like bad grades.

LOL at expecting a 15 year old to be able to self regulate with a smartphone. How much time do you spend on your phone each day, PP? Adults can’t even do it. This is why they shouldn’t have smart phones.

This. The people who created these devices often won't allow their own teens to have them. They know it's crack.

We take it when they get home. Once I see homework is completed they can have it back. If they complain, it's my phone, my money so I can keep it. If I find inappropriate photos or texts I keep it.

Persist through his resistance. If you don’t give in when he complains, he will eventually stop complaining.

Anonymous wrote:They need to learn to self regulate before college.

Don’t randomly take it. It should be linked to behavior like bad grades.

LOL at expecting a 15 year old to be able to self regulate with a smartphone. How much time do you spend on your phone each day, PP? Adults can’t even do it. This is why they shouldn’t have smart phones.

Internet and cell service goes off at 10. Can they still play downloaded games? Yea - but they got to bed around 10:30, get up without much issue, and grades are good.

We take the phone at 9pm or 9:30 depending on age, as long as they're at home. It charges in our bedroom. If he won't give it to you, stop paying for it.

FWIW, as soon as they get their first college acceptance, we stop taking their phones. At that point, it's on them to self-regulate.

They need to learn to self regulate before college.

Don’t randomly take it. It should be linked to behavior like bad grades.

Anonymous wrote:My DC 15 yo spends long evenings with cell phone and finally I decided to take a stand 2 weeks ago and said that no phone after 9:30pm. It has been a battle ever since as DC refuses to give it up. I am at my wit's end. What would you do?

OP a lot of families with teens do this every school night.

I take DD’s phone every night before bed. Charges in my room. That way the temptation isn’t there and it gets charged overnight. For your situation though, he doesn’t get to make the rules. If he doesn’t comply, there needs to be consequences. Either he gives you the phone by 930 or he doesn’t get a phone and you take it permanently. It’s that simple. Only reason I could think he might need it later - maybe until bed - is if he uses it to do homework with friends.

We restrict phone apps to 2 hours per day total. Our 15 year old is usually long up with time by 9pm.

Make him give it to you no later than 9:30.

My DC 15 yo spends long evenings with cell phone and finally I decided to take a stand 2 weeks ago and said that no phone after 9:30pm. It has been a battle ever since as DC refuses to give it up. I am at my wit's end. What would you do?