You can't really know. Even if you are both showing your truest selves, people change a lot and your situation changes and the relationship survives some of those changes and may not survive other changes.

I consider myself happily married 17 years, but that is not to say we haven’t had rough patches where we had to make a conscious choice that our marriage was our priority.

I love him deeply and we are very committed but even I can’t say that I KNOW that will remain true forever. I think it will, I hope it will, but I don’t see how anyone could know for certain.

My mom told me once when I was in the random dating phase but hadn't met anyone I wanted to spend more than a few weeks with, that she also spent her early 20s dating men who she could never imagine spending a few years with never mind 50 years. And, then, she said, "you meet someone and 50 years doesn't seem long enough" <3. That was my dad and he died shortly before their 54th wedding anniversary.

I met DH at a volunteer event, something about him just jumped out of all the other people there. We went out to lunch that day, quickly became exclusive, and were engaged 6 months later (then engaged for over a year). Married 20 years now. We were also both in our 30s and I think at that age, if you know yourself, it shouldn't take years to figure out if this person is a good fit.

Anonymous wrote:I've always been curious about this saying. Especially in contrast to people who say you've got to date 1-2 years before you know someone.
What does knowing feel or look like?

You know when the veil comes down and your partner shows their true self. That will only come after some time, and in various situations and social interactions including with their family. When they lay bare all the "ugly" then you really know someone, and that takes time.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I “knew” when I met my husband at 22 years old. We divorced when I was 43. So you don’t always know what you think you know.

People change so much over that time period. Get married, have some kids, live life and before you know it you're married to an entirely different person.

+1 22 is super young for both men and women. Young adults are still maturing.

stats show that people who get married when very young have a higher chance of divorce.

I think when you are young, you are still, I don't what to say naive, but maybe not experienced enough to know how that quirk of his or her that you think is cute won't be so cute when you live together, have kids and have more responsibilities. I think even older people sometimes gloss over those things. When you are young, you aren't thinking about a mortgage, responsibilities, etc..

Anonymous wrote:I “knew” when I met my husband at 22 years old. We divorced when I was 43. So you don’t always know what you think you know.

People change so much over that time period. Get married, have some kids, live life and before you know it you're married to an entirely different person.

You NEVER really know, but know this... nothing lasts forever and there are no guarantees in life. Your soulmate today can easily turn into your roommate after 15 years of marriage. People change, needs change, desires change. Someone can be the right person at one stage in your life and wrong at a different stage.

I “knew” when I met my husband at 22 years old. We divorced when I was 43. So you don’t always know what you think you know.

I've always been curious about this saying. Especially in contrast to people who say you've got to date 1-2 years before you know someone.
What does knowing feel or look like?