Yes, I do think that it seems like you are bit fixated on this in a way that is not helpful or healthy. I think some therapy to work on your self-esteem could help.

Finally, it is worth noting many of things you feel that your sister is "better" at, could be attributed good looks. For example, positive attention from teachers and peers, a successful husband. The reality is that being attractive has many benefits for women and there is nothing that either you or your sister could do regarding the genetic lottery of facial bone structure and beauty. Is she more attractive than you? If so, perhaps reframing your sister as more "gifted" like a PP suggested, rather than "better".

but you did go to better college, didn’t you? not saying your sister is not better or that college name is important but you do seem selective in your recollections. did she always have better grades growing up? doesn’t appear to be the case since you didn’t mention it. I am sure there are other things.

I mean I don’t think you should compare yourself to her but since you do, try to honestly find things that you do better. “Better wedding”, really? Who cares and what does it even mean. You seem kind of going out of your way to make her the winner, always.

You’d better find a way to nip this envy in the bud before children show up because it will eat you alive when you see her kids go to private and enjoy other perks of a wealthy household.

Your gut response is natural, but you definitely can learn to move past this and appreciate your own unique qualities and talents. Some therapy could help!

you are a 100% bonafide idiot

"her wedding was better than mine"

Who says this? Would you rather be married to her husband than your own?

Seriously. Going through life comparing in this way is absolutely the most toxic thing.

I have an older sister that felt like this and I ended up with 2 children with very different abilities. My daughter was not as "gifted" (I can't think of a better word) physically or mentally as her younger brother. As she grew older and began to notice the differences, if she brought it up I always reminded her that her brother doing worse is not going to make her do better. Life isn't fair and she just had to work harder to get to the same level as her brother.

My sister still brings up things from our childhood (I'm 60, she's 62). She was very mean to me growing up and is still very insecure now.

Anonymous wrote:I think it’s very human, but I think it’s something you shiukd try to change in yourself. Life isn’t a competition.

Count your blessings and share in her sunshine. Someone in your life is wishing they had what you did - maybe even some things your sister wishes she had.

+1 Comparison is the thief of joy. Focus on being the best you.

Anonymous wrote:How many times are you going to post about this?

I think it's pretty clear why her sister seems to be the winner at everything. The insecurity is dripping.

How many times are you going to post about this?

I think it’s very human, but I think it’s something you shiukd try to change in yourself. Life isn’t a competition.

Count your blessings and share in her sunshine. Someone in your life is wishing they had what you did - maybe even some things your sister wishes she had.

Haven’t you posted about this before?

It isn't bad, just human.

That's hard, OP. But you need to think of the long game, not the short.

In the long game, the person who is most grateful, most secure, most able to make peace with their life will outshine the other. If you aren't making enough money, consider how to change careers or improve that. Other than that, just focus inward, not outward. THAT is the way you win (and the way she sees you win as well.)

No, it's not bad. I have a similar situation with my older sister. You can't let it get to you otherwise it leads to a lifetime of misery. Focus on yourself and your strengths.

My younger sister has always naturally one-upped me. I do not know how much of it was intentional or naturally a result of her good fortune and talents.

I loved to dance and act as a child but she would always get the lead roles and was doted upon by drama teachers
I had trouble making friends, she was one of the popular girls always. Even MY friends would think she was cool

I went to a better college than her but she got the better career with higher income.
She married a rich guy and gets nice perks handed to her due to her generous in laws. DH and I struggle through every phase of a life as we do not have family money.
Her wedding was better than mine

She is now house hunting and I am sure she will end up with a gorgeous house in the perfect location as she doesn't have a small budget. DH and I still live in an apartment as we are saving for a down payment and are concerned about affording anything around here

It honestly SUCKS. I like her and we get along but I am sick of being the less than sister.

I sometimes wish I could outdo her just ONE TIME.