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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Tra la la, drippings! I’m in Europe and you’re not! By the way, did you know “tra la la” in the European Language is “tra la la?” Tres fantastique!

I am so #BLESSED and honored to be here with my besties. We are working with Babylon River Cruises, where I am the featured storyteller, AKA I’m a BFD. The cruise line people - who are just the most ADORABLE SOULS - organize events and usher random passengers - dear, dear, dear old people from quaint places like Duluth and Chippewa Falls who have no idea who I am but they’ve been SUPER SWEET about posing for pictures with me. My fave is that one where I’m crouching front and center, throwing a gang sign, and squishing my piehole up like I’m about to give a BEEJ. BTW, you can still register for my OTHER CRUISE, where we’ll have our very own SEXPERT to talk with us about SEX and other SEXY things because we’re grown-ass damn women who can talk about SEX without blushing - much - and say the word damn. #FIESTY

It’s just such a SPECIAL TIME, bedazzled. I wish EVERY DAMN ONE OF YOU were here to see it. These PRECIOUS seniors are being ushered into our storytelling sessions, where I tell stories about—what else—ME. Some of them seem a bit confused, but most are placated by the presence of free booze and snacks. It’s SO AMAZING what you can get people to agree to when they’re well-lubricated. Tee hee @thetylermerritproject

One of these DARLING older ladies asked me if I’ve ever met Joanna Gaines <green puke face emoji>, and you know what, droplets? There’s nothing to affirm the desperate dedication of my RIDE OR DIES like witnessing the tackling of a 70+-year-old woman wearing floral capris and New Balance tennies and dragging her from the room by her ankles. She’s FINE, droolings, and we’ve left a copy of Feed These People and a link to get herself a pair of LifeChoice shoes in her stateroom.

The best part about this week - other than doorways, doorways, doorways - has been the INCREDIBLE opportunity to hang with my besties. Well, that and the free booze, LOLZ. When you find those people who understand how to achieve the perfect balance of deference and friendship, you hang onto them and LOVE THEM HARD, even if it means convincing one of them to spring for plane tickets to Amsterdam instead of that dental work we all know she needs. #TrueFriendship

Notice how they envelop me in every photo, like protective MAMA BEARS. This makes me feel safe and protected because you know PEOPLE EVERYWHERE are clamoring to meet me - or at least stare at me quizzically in that “I know she’s SOMEONE, but I can’t quite place her. They’re totally not playing “Spot the Thirsty American Tourists” because we are SO blending in with our Yankees ball caps or Target tee shirts. We are WOMEN OF THE WORLD, and we have the questionable fashion choices to prove it. 
More shenanigans to follow. I know you can’t wait.

Stay UNHINGED, darlings, and tag your people who would tackle an old lady for daring to utter the name of your nemesis out loud.

P.S. HEART AND COMMON if you think the next MeCamp should be in Chippewa Falls! I met a DARLING lady who has an Airbnb there that according to her, needs just a teensy bit of work. Think of the fun we could have with Instagram captions #TheChippewaFallsHatmakers #teehee #tralala #MeCamp[/quote]

Best one yet! We have a GIFTED writer among us![/quote]

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