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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I'm going to teach my girls to assume all men are dirtbags (even though most are not), and unless you know EVERYONE you are with in a closed environment, and trust them completely, don't drink to the point of passing out.  And I'm going to teach my sons to respect women and that no means no and that the law says drunk women cannot consent, even if you are drunk too.[/quote]

No one drinks enough to pass out on purpose. You can rarely control who will be at a party especially in college. I don't believe in blaming women but if I had a daughter I would do what I could in advance as well of course. Maybe we should actively teach safe drinking just like we promote safe sex and sex ed. Young men and women shouldn't be sent off to college with zero drinking knowledge where they'll be surrounded by weekend binge drinkers. They should be taught how to pace themselves, what not to mix, they need to eat first and rehydrate etc..

I think it's great that you are teaching your son about consent. Hearing that from you will be powerful I'm sure they'll always remember that. [/quote]

Teaching safe drinking would be good. I spent a summer studying abroad in Japan as a rising high school senior and witnessed what happens when kids drink unsafely. One evening one of the girls and a couple of the guys got pretty drunk. We all (30 kids or so) were in a dorm together and were all hanging out, though only a few kids were drinking. Next thing we know the girl and one guy are heavily making out and heading for a closet. The four non-drunk girls (including myself) thought this was a bad idea and separated them. The drunk girl was slurring and insisting she wanted to be with him; the drunk guy was threatening us. A couple of other guys intervened at our request and dragged him down the hallway. For the next two hours he kept coming back and pounding on our door and was dragged away, only to return. Meanwhile drunk girl kept telling us how mean we were to not let her go have sex with him. Eventually everyone fell asleep. The next day drunk girl had only vague memories of any of this and was utterly horrified when we told her. She was very relieved and grateful that we didn't let anything happen. Drunk guy never apologized or referred to it.

After that experience I swore I would never let myself get so drunk that I didn't know what was going on. I never wanted to be in that position. And if that meant not getting drunk at all at a party to avoid any possibility of this happening, then that's what I was going to do. And I stuck to it. Probably one of the more formative experiences of my young adult life.

In my experience with friends and family members, girls who get too drunk at parties tend to regret it. It's fun in the moment but blackouts and hazy memory the next day is scary. The question is whether they get assaulted before they stop the pattern. Maybe safe drinking education, like safe sex education, would help people think about this stuff in advance. And that goes for boys too. If the boy is drunk, even assuming no predatory intent on his part, it severely lessens his chances of recognizing that his partner is incapable of consent. And he's going to get blamed. It's just not worth it for anybody.[/quote]Great story of taking responsibility, OP. But here's the essential point that you missed. You and your friends, as by-standers, took responsibility for protecting these two from themselves. It's not just a matter of men and women both not drinking themselves silly, it's also people, especially men, having the guts and forethought to intervene in a dicey situation. Thank god those Swedish graduate students were people with such sterling qualities. [/quote]

I'm aware of that. But my point was also that it taught me that I can't be sure anyone else is going to intervene for me, so I should do my best not to put myself in that situation in the first place. Sometimes it's unavoidable. But getting drunk off your ass is avoidable unless someone's spiking your drink.[/quote]

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