Reply to Can someone explain the mindset of a cheater?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]"In a lot of cases it is opportunity + feeling deserving + thinking nobody will find out."

Someone posted this above, and I think this is essentially true, especially for men. I cheated, and this was essentially why. Sex is great, sex with someone new is hot, I thought it was an opportunity that would never present itself again and I was fairly sure I wouldn't get caught.
[/quote]

Was anything particularly wrong with your marriage?  Were you and your wife regularly having sex?  (I am assuming you are a man) Did you consider your wife’s feelings or your own personal integrity?  Even if the risk seemed low, the cost of getting caught is SO HIGH- your marriage, your money, your time with your kids, your reputation are all on the line.[/quote]

My wife and I were rarely having sex. It was a topic of conversation and frustration.

In retrospect, it was a crazy, risky decision. But I think you overestimate the ability of men to think clearly with their brain when aroused[/quote]

Do you feel guilt?  How did this happen?  Were you just traveling by yourself and an attractive woman threw herself at you?[/quote]

It was someone I met while traveling for work. She messaged me in follow up and was the aggressor, so to speak. She was in a sexless marriage. She is now divorced.

I don't know if guilt is really a word that applies, I suppose I compartmentalize it as something that happened and is in the past. I am sure I would feel guilty if I got caught and hurt others. [/quote]

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