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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]One of the things they fault Dawn for was doing an altruistic act for selfish motives (self-aggrandizement, cringey FB posts, tone-deafness). Look at Celeste now. Burying her feed in good deeds for Afghan refugees and lying that she never even knew Dawn.[/quote]

I'm the neurodivergent PP and this is exactly what I mean about unspoken rules. Celeste Ng's feed right now is full of good deeds for Afghan refugees which is okay? Not too extra? Within acceptable social rules? But Dawn Dorland donated a kidney and talked about it as instructed by kidney donation places and that violates those same rules? It's confusing and honestly I can't figure it out.[/quote]

I am the PP writer who was encouraging you to write (this is one time I wish we did have recognizable usernames!). I think what you're experiencing here - the confusion, the stress, being unsure how to behave, being unsure what will make these mean girls turn on you - is exactly what so many people experience when dealing with cruel people like this - which is why they mimic the cruel people,

because they think it shields them from the cruelty. it's not just you. we all feel it when we are not the queen b who is taking control of the social scene and deciding who is in and who is out - how do you either get to sit at the cool kids table and be invited to the parties, or how do you remain invisible off to the side so that they won't decide that it's your turn to be beaten to a pulp.

and i should not even say "they" - i think it's "we." i think it is a completely normal reaction to this abnormal but common social dynamic, to try to protect yourself.

that said these are gd effing adults and i am astonished that among them there wasn't a single person who stood up for dawn in this group. usually there is someone willing to be the voice of conscience. at least i would hope.
[/quote]

PP here. Yes, I think you are right. There is a cognitive dissonance here for a lot of people. Thank you for writing this. [/quote]

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