Reply to No Kids at Wedding - Why So Much Anger?!

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Today for DCUM to weigh in on:

I'm thinking about not attending my cousin's wedding since children are not allowed.

Details:

-- This is my only cousin. 
-- My children are 14 and 16, well behaved, and have been to formal events before (you already guessed: It's black tie). 
-- My kids are my aunt's and uncle's only great-niece and great-nephew.
-- The kid-free thing is driven by the cousin's fiancee, the bride. 
-- This is a 250-person wedding in Greenwich, CT, and bride's family, who is paying, is exceptionally affluent and from NYC society. 
-- We live in Chicago and will need to travel in for the full weekend by plane 
-- We have one local relative on our side who could watch our kids for the weekend, my husband's mom, who is 86 and can't drive after a stroke.

In other words, this is not a scenario where allowing siblings or cousins to bring their kids as an exception to the no-kids thing would mean 40 extra plates or something, or a wedding where headcount costs are sensitive.

Yes, it's their day. It's just so ... tacky.

Yes, the bride is 30, all of her friends are already married, she had the custom cocktail menu picked out two years ago, and she put my hapless cousin on a skincare routine.

If it weren't for potentially hurting the feelings of my aunt and uncle -- this is their only child -- I wouldn't attend at all. I'm just here to vent. [/quote]

Can you go alone? I sort of understand the no little kids thing at a formal event, but I don’t get it for teens. My 16 year old is invited to a cousin’s upcoming wedding, but not to the rehearsal dinner. Which is fine—they can do what they want—but when my whole family has already traveled to be there, I’m just supposed to leave my kid alone in a hotel to have dinner by herself? It’s weird. I think I’ll send my husband to that alone and I’ll hang out with my kid.[/quote]

That scenario especially is very strange and means they are simply not thinking of their guests.  If you invite Out of town guests to the rehearsal dinner, you invite the entire immediate family.

[/quote]

So tacky and yes, per the original title of this thread, this is why the anger about no-kids weddings (with no exceptions for family member kids). It's not thinking about the guests - bad hosting is bad hosting, wedding or not - and it adds to the perception that the wedding is just an Instagram dress-up show instead of a marriage ceremony where a couple becomes, oh I don't know, family. [/quote]

Yes your last sentence so captures it for me.[/quote]

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