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[quote=Anonymous]It's been my experience that a lot of the kids that are moved up are kids with parents that 'push, push' and fraternize with the coaches/tds.  People will deny it, but it's a mainstay in the travel area.  I know several really great players whose parents are the antithesis of this and have always said if they can't recognize it, they would never interfere.  My father always told me to never go to the coach, nothing good ever comes of it.  I only ever contact them if kids will miss something, or they contact me first.  I have seen kids have to move around to find a special place and once they do they flourish. There are assholes who don't get it and will say they are just looking for a higher team when in fact parents/player are looking for better development.  I've even seen kids take a step down for better training.  They have good parents that know what it's all about.  There is this false illusion that all parents have 'goggles' when it comes to their kids' abilities.  That is probably true in some cases and I have definitely seen it myself.

I grew up in a family of no-shitters.  My dad was the first to let us know if we weren't pulling our weight, slacking, etc.--even if coaches weren't--and he was often the coach and hardest on us.  With our own kids, we always do a 'self-check'.  We are probably the most critical of our kid's ability (not to them--just to each other in private).  We even joked that our older kid that is really now flourishing as a U13, sucked his entire U10 year---part of that was the fit was so off and he really disliked the club/team. We are also the first (as are our kids) to recognize other talented players and don't hesitate to give them compliments and tell their parents what we think. Doing this has really helped in finding resources and comparing notes, etc. In fact, there are the same families we usually see over and over again at certain camps or training--not the well-published ones.  My sibling who was a professional player is brutally honest---to a point I think it has upset my other sibling in the past.  This sibling also had to take a circuitous route to get what he needed, leaving travel for a bulk of his development and has been a great resource.  He also played in Europe and has taken his nephew abroad.  His advice to my kids has always been: "Don't take any shit on the field and listen to your coaches. Play every day. Love the ball."  He has told me he will never butt in because if my kids are going to be good 'it's up to them'.

I will say it took me awhile to realize most of what I initially thought was ill-will has sometimes been lack of knowledge of supposed 'expert/elite' coaches we have here in the States or just the sheer fact there are way TOO MANY kids at these Clubs and the ratio of trainers is off.  They don't see an individual or the pathway to development.  It is to 'team-oriented' and they don't invest in individual players.  This has been a release and we have found some really great mentors for my children--even some they have kept in touch with long after they left a Club.  There are many good people in the sport, you just have to look hard.  For me, finding that special place means I can just relax and watch the fun.  I trust the kid is in good hands.  There will often be as many as two trainers and the TD watching the small group training every practice.  It's refreshing after seeing things done so wrong in certain places.  [/quote]

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