Reply to DD does not want to go to classmate's bday party because 'it looks lame'

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Reply to "DD does not want to go to classmate's bday party because 'it looks lame'"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My rule when my boys were this age was that if they were invited, they were going, unless we had a legit conflict.  Both of them were and still are "cool kids" and were sometimes invited by kids who were not in their friend groups to do things that did not sound terribly appealing.They would protest sometimes by saying they weren't friends with the host or the party didn't sound fun, but I always appealed to their innate kindness: what if no one goes?  And, you can do anything for an hour or two.

Even as adults, while we have the right to pick and choose social activities, we all still have events occasionally that feel more like a social "obligation" and for whatever reason, we suck it up and go. Isn't this important for kids to learn?  That sometimes we do things just to be kind, not because there is anything in it for us?

My boys are 16 and 14 now, and one thing I hear about them over and over is how nice they are. [/quote]

If you send your kids to parties, PLEASE make sure that they behave properly!  I have seen these punky "cool kids" show up and think they are too good to hang out with the birthday boy/girl.  They pretty much play with their other pinky "cool kid" friends only, sit specifically with them, and don't bother most of the time to thank the birthday girl/boy appropriately for inviting them to the party.  I have seen kids like this comment openly how they just want to go grab the goodie bag and get out of "here".  So if you do plan to make your "cool kids" attend, tell them to behave properly.  It is annoying all around.

And frankly, I have met these "cool kids" and I think the more appropriate term for them are punks![/quote]

Mom of the aforementioned "cool kids" here.  Maybe you missed the part where I emphasized that they are widely regarded as nice, too. We might be defining "cool" differently.  Having said that, absolutely I agree with you. If your kid is going to go to a party and act like an asshole, forget it - but then you have much bigger problems on your hands.    This was never a concern with my kids.  Maybe their niceness is part of what makes them so cool?  [/quote]

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