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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP here. Jesus. First, obviously, my comment about my mother "finishing the gig" was not meant to be literal. It's a frustration venting comment that is nonsensical.  As I said, I am good with their divorce. I don't have an issue with her moving on with her life. And I absolutely do not think it's necessary for my mother to take care of my father.

What I am struggling with is the reality of losing my father to a horrific terminal illness, the demands of his care, the demands of my kids and marriage, and my career while getting complaints from my mother that we had to cancel apple picking with her because my father's health went sideways and he ended up in the ICU. I am struggling with the emotional loss and the fact that when I do bring up how hard it's been, my mother's response is less kind than my neighbor. I am struggling with the fact that despite my open invitation to come and visit with the kids, she won't do it unless I'm here, we've planned something fun because "grandmas don't babysit - they visit." Literally words, people. I am struggling because my mother is pretending that this isn't happening and expects me to live in the same strange non-reality, reality.

I had a long conversation with my sister last night. She got it even worse in terms of the guilting about not getting equal amounts of attention. We both are sort of agape at the whole thing because my father has months -- most likely -- to live. And I don't think either of us really want much to do with our mother right now because she's just being so difficult.[/quote]

OP  I'm on your side. I do not think you are crazy for feeling as you do. [b]I say this as someone who helped care for my ex when he was dying of cancer.[/b] He cheated on me so our split was not amicable but I did it because my love for my kids outweighed any anger I had towards him. Sorry you are going through this. Big hugs.[/quote]

You have a special place in Heaven :)  Your kids must really think the world of you!  [/quote]

I was thinking the same thing.  I hope you know what a truly stand up person you are pp.[/quote]

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