Reply to Divorced parents late in life drama

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]14:13 here again.  I am on the way out and reading the thread in pieces.  My mother also went through a period of magical thinking before she realized that her perfect life would not be materializing after the divorce.  She imagined that she would have some grand life focusing on her kids, never mind that we were all busy building families and careers ourselves and did not have  all the free time she wanted.  She also conveniently forgot that she would need to share holidays like Christmas and was vey pissed off when we spent time with my dad.  This is the neediness that I referred to previously.  She had no experience being divorced and really miscalculated all the alone time and all the work she would need to do to rebuild her life.[/quote]

My mom did that too.  She's normally a very realistic and sensible person, but acted like splitting holidays was totally unforseeable, and outright refused to acknowledge that caring for my dad was a different experience for me without her help.  I have come to understand that this is typical of divorced people as they try to cope with the cognitive dissonance of their choices.[/quote]

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