Reply to Here is a hill to die on: Ban on showers hosted by Mom or MIL

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Reply to "Here is a hill to die on: Ban on showers hosted by Mom or MIL"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Nah, I think there is plenty of fault, and I feel badly used in this particular situation. I don't hate my MIL, but I don't enjoy her. I don't expect our relationship to get better, and I don't expect it to get worse. It will go on just fine, superficially nice, except that I will be more wary of situations where she might do something like this in the future, and I will defend my borders with more vigilance. I am not really worried about the relationship.

As far as manners go ... they are not just arbitrary rules. They are meant to protect against hurting other people's feelings. [b]My feelings are hurt. I feel that there was a breach of manners here, even if it's not the MIL hosting issue.[/b] [/quote]

:roll: [/quote]

Look. This is bothering me, so I'm going to explain one more time.

MIL asked me for X. I said, no, how about Y? She agreed to Y. But then she did X anyway. That is rude!!

It doesn't change because X is a shower and you think that showers are wonderful and that MILs should have carte blanche to do whatever the hell they want.

If you can't accept that other people may have other perspectives on showers, and that other people have feelings that are not the same as yours, that's probably why your DIL does not love you.

[/quote]

I do not have daughter in laws but I do have a MIL who has had her fair share of being difficult.

You are going to have so many real battles down the line. This gesture of kindness is not the "hill to die on."  If you are battling and getting hurt feelings over something as normal as a celebratory baby shower, you are in for a very long and painful road with your family relations.[/quote]

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