Reply to Trying and failing to force myself to want sex with husband

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Making women feel like it is somehow THEIR problem when they react in an emotionally healthy way to a husband who has hurt them (I.e. By losing respect/desire for them) is a key part of patriarchy.  The advice on this thread from men is basically to shut up and put out or else OP is dysfunctional.  Not her weirdo husband who originally cut off sex and clearly has some various life issues, to put it politely.    No, our culture likes to pathologize female lack of desire for awful men and act like the women are "frigid" for not wanting to have sex with someone who has degraded them and treating them badly.  By shaming women who won't have sex with husbands who treat them badly, and acting like the lack of sexual participation on her part is the reason why she is being treated badly, they are able to intimidate women into giving sexual access to men when they don't want to, and when the men themselves have acted in horrible ways to the women involved.[/quote]

Reverse the genders in the OP and I'll bet you'd be arguing how the husband needs to understand her and her feelings better.  He should have sex with her to bolster her flagging self esteem.  It's not her fault! (because it never is)[/quote]

So true, it's the woman card again, as if women are the only ones who every make, dare I say, sacrifices to keep the marriage going.  And honestly, if it is a sacrifice and you can't stand the thought of even his touch, then you need to do the honorable thing and get out.  Don't care if you can't afford it, you can't afford not to and you have no right to deny someone else happiness.  Go find a group house, get a job and start over on your own.  [/quote]

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