Reply to Trying and failing to force myself to want sex with husband

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Here's my question for everyone who suggests therapy.

Are there any actual examples of women being able to therapy their way out of resenting their husband and being unattracted such that they were once again attracted and wanted sex with him?

Can therapy really cure resentment and repulsion?

[/quote]

Sure it can.  It's about [b]communicating[/b] and getting grievances out in the [b]open[/b], [b]feeling heard[/b] and [b]understood[/b], and changing behaviors to [b]avoid falling back[/b] into the same place.  Therapy can play a critical role in [b]facilitating[/b] all of that.  By no means is it an easy process, but with two willing and [b]committed[/b] partners it can be done.[/quote]

Yep, you wrote down all therapyspeak words from MSW classes and best-seller books.

But honestly, I bet you cannot name one. single.  couple who respectfully talked their way back from [u]decade-long resentment and physical repulsion and disgust[/u].    I know I can't.  [/quote]

I read somewhere recently that at some point there has been too much hurt and one or more people have hardened their hearts. By then it is too late.[/quote]

Making women feel like it is somehow THEIR problem when they react in an emotionally healthy way to a husband who has hurt them (I.e. By losing respect/desire for them) is a key part of patriarchy.  The advice on this thread from men is basically to shut up and put out or else OP is dysfunctional.  Not her weirdo husband who originally cut off sex and clearly has some various life issues, to put it politely.    No, our culture likes to pathologize female lack of desire for awful men and act like the women are "frigid" for not wanting to have sex with someone who has degraded them and treating them badly.  By shaming women who won't have sex with husbands who treat them badly, and acting like the lack of sexual participation on her part is the reason why she is being treated badly, they are able to intimidate women into giving sexual access to men when they don't want to, and when the men themselves have acted in horrible ways to the women involved.[/quote]

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