Reply to 8 year old sleepover party - 3 girls excluded. WWYD?

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Reply to "8 year old sleepover party - 3 girls excluded. WWYD?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Mean girls get their traits from somewhere -- and this listserve shows that it is from their moms.   Everyone who is a decent person agrees that you don't just let your kid leave out a small number of people from their class.   If you don't want a lot of kids at your house, just tell your kid to invite fewer people:  less than 50 percent of the class or the girls in their class.

Now, what do you do?    How upset is your daughter about it?   If she isn't bothered by it, don't be the one who gets her bothered about it.

Also, what are the dynamics of the class?    Are your daughter and the other two kids being excluded a lot?   Is this actually a mean girls situation?  Especially if this is the case, then I really would do some sort of counter event for them -- whether the same day as that party or some other day.    [b]The one thing a mean girl never anticipates is that the excluded have their own lives and eventually become cooler than the mean girls.[/b]    And I would also give that speech to your daughter about resiliance, but also do something to perk her up and help her improve her standing in the class.    Also, if this truly is a chronic mean girls situation, talk to the teacher as well.

As for the other mom, obviously she is not friends with you even if she is "friendly."   I think just don't say anything to her -- since if she were a decent person, she would have figured this out already.    She isn't, and you're not going to make any headway with her.

[/quote]

I hate to tell you, but the mean girls don't care what the girls they didn't invite are doing. At all. You think the popular girl in school who you never hung out with was concerned who you were hanging out with on Friday nights? She didn't. I'm reminded of the scene from Mad Men when one of the lower level dudes who thinks Don stole his idea gets in the elevator with Don and says "I feel sorry for you" and Don tells him "I don't think about you at all."

Encourage your kids to have their own friend groups, absolutely. But don't give them the impression it's hurting the mean girl or really getting her good. She does not even notice the kids she doesn't include. [/quote]

+ 1
 
good points in here[/quote]

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