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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Its so weird to me that all these posters consider those of us who give our kids electronics and let them have it in their rooms are doing it because we have no backbone, no ability to say no, we are "giving in"...like we really, really want to say no deep inside, but we say yes anyway.

personally I have 3 teenagers, all of whom have every electronic under the sun.  Early on in their iPhone texting days, they were stupid and stayed up late texting and they were exhausted at school the next day, and at sports practice that night.  They learned pretty darn fast.

I don't care what electronics they have as long as they follow the basic rules we outline about them in our house.  I don't care whether they are in their rooms at night.  (Geez I mean when I was a teenager we spent all our time in our rooms, too...on our land lines, talking on party lines and 3-way calls. Its hardly like we were hanging with the 'rents playing monopoly in the family room as teenagers. They are teenagers...they don't want to hang with us. And I don't care...as long as they come to dinner, come out on family trips and vacations, do well at school, stay active physically, and are healthy and happy.  They are growing independent people...and I have zero desire to micro-manage them![/quote]

+1. I see no need to step in and make rules unless my kids show that they cannot handle their own responsibilities.[b] DD13 can have her phone with her and use it whenever she wants as long as her use of it does not start interfering with her other obligations.[/b] This is my approach to almost everything, not just electronics or bedtimes. I'm raising future adults and I want them to have as much practice as they are able to handle with making and owning their own decisions while I am still able to provide a safety net in case one of their choices is actually bad enough to need someone else to step in. [/quote]

This makes sense, but it sounds like OP's son *is* letting his use of smartphone interfere with his other obligations. If he is staying up until past midnight using his phone, then this is interfering with his sleep and that starts a cascade of effects -- on his mood, ability to concentrate at school, etc. So, unlike with your daughter, who has been using her technology responsibly, OP needs to do something to intervene.

OP, the two general camps in this thread seem to be either: a) no, take away his devices after 9 pm, or b) he needs to learn responsibility and self-regulation.  I think you need to take a middle route: Sit down with your son and explain to him that clearly this is not working out and talk with him about why staying up late on his phone is not a good idea - it deprives him up sleep, sleep is important at this age, interferes with his schoolwork, etc. He's old enough to participate in this discussion. Then ask him what *he* thinks should be a solution. Offer your own ideas about how to curb his use -- you can throw out the idea of "Ok, everyone (not just your son, everyone) checks in their devices at 10 pm." But talk about it with him. And then your family can implement this plan. It's not cracking down in a draconian way on his smartphone use nor is it leaving him totally to his own devices (no pun intended) - it's working *with* him to address the issue so that he feels invested and wants it to work as well.

Here is a good article about parenting and devices:
http://www.realsimple.com/work-life/technology/safety-family/internet-safety

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