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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP, see the old threads on the medical benefits.   Even in the developed world, there are some -- including less vulnerability to STDs and other infections.    I could re-post the links, but they are easy to find.   They aren't huge, but they are concrete benefits.  No circumcised man I have know has ever seemed to have any kind of issue at all with not being sensitive enough down there.

I agree that you need to separate the issues with the circumcision with your issues with his family and Jewishness.  I am not Jewish, and married to a Jewish man who is partly Israeli, but mostly secular.   We circumcised.   He wanted it, and I wanted it.  It has health benefits.    There are "fundamentalist" Jewish strains just as there are in Christianity, Islam, and pretty much any other religion.    I don't know if you are white, but let's just say that you are, and that you married someone who was Chinese, or some other cultural identity.   You'd probably have the same type of cross-cultural issues.    (See My Big Fat Greek Wedding.)     Frankly, I think you need to get over it.   You knew he was Jewish and Israeli when you married him, right?   [b]Maybe you didn't undertand what that entails, but you should have.   So I'd suck it up and be less sensitive.   [/b]

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Thank you, yes I knew. But just as I'm sure you'd have a learning curve with Chinese culture or whatever, I did too. I was not expecting to discover that there is a developed democratic country that prohibits marriage on the basis of religion. Honestly, it seems pretty intense to me. I have come round to the place of understanding a little bit better how some live with these cognitive dissonances, but that doesn't mean it is something that I have to accept if it goes against my values.

[/quote]

OP, I think you're really stuck on the Israeli Jewish/Orthodox model of doing things, which is understandable since your husband is Israeli. But that is not the way most Jews do things in the US. Honestly what you are describing is one of the reasons I would never want to live in Israel even though I am Jewish. I don't want to live in a place where religion -- even my own religion -- runs the country. But you're in the US now and it sounds like you plan to stay for a while. So check out the Jewish stuff here, go to a Conservative or Reform shul, see what you think. Or not, if you are not interested and DH is not interested. But you sound very bitter and you need to get over that or it's going to make problems down the road.

Now, the circumcision is different. You don't want to do it, DH doesn't want to do it. So don't do it. Easy as that. The only reason we did it is because we do adhere to that cultural tradition. Our son is Jewish and will be raised within the Conservative movement and it was a no brainer for us. Just like piercing baby girls' ears is in some cultures. In truth, I would be surprised to learn that a Jewish boy wasn't circumcised, but I wouldn't dwell on it long nor consider him less Jewish. That's his own and his rabbi's business, not mine. If your son wants to formally convert when he is older, he can get circumcised then, or perhaps the rules will have relaxed enough in some congregations that he won't need to. [/quote]

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