Reply to Why do people refuse to be realistic about the consequences of long term relationships?

Forum Index » Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)

Reply to "Why do people refuse to be realistic about the consequences of long term relationships? "

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]
We tell teens/young adults that mastrabation is a normal healthy exploration of your own body. But men are socialized to believe that mastrabation after marriage is a failure to "get it from your wife" and women are socialized to believe they need to "give it to their husbands" instead of enjoying it alone. Men make women feel like they "cheated" if they mastrabate once a week and have sex with their H once a week. The H want that 2nd time too, as if the woman is not allowed to enjoy herself without her H anymore.

[/quote]

Masturbation isn't the same as sex. A lot of women seem to think a man's desire for sex is just a desire for orgasm. But it's more than that. My wife's body isn't some sort of overly-complicated masturbation aid. It's a way I can feel that she loves me. When she's rejecting my initiations, we have sex once a month or less, and she's masturbating in the interim -- [b]you bet I feel rejected and unloved[/b]. It means she wants sexual activity, just not with me. I know it's more complicated than that (after all I just said that masturbation isn't the same as sex), but that doesn't change the feeling of rejection and being unloved.

Even more so because I check all the boxes that supposedly lead to love (and, by extension I irrationally assume, sex). I've been loyal and faithful for the 20 years of our marriage. I'm a good, active dad. I do plenty around the house. I bring home a good income. I'm in good shape. I'm funny (and modest!). I treat her with kindness and respect. I enjoy foreplay and enjoy sex much more if she's having orgasms. I'd be up for just about any sexual twist, kink, or fantasy if she had one and would tell me. I'm not perfect, but I'm pretty good. And our marriage is pretty good. But the sex is pretty much gone, and it sucks. [/quote]

Do you know if your wife was ALLOWED to mastrabate more her body would crave sex more.

Do you know if you would look at less porn, you would crave sex less.

You could meet in the middle.

But you were socialized to treat your wife badly if she just want to enjoy an orgasm by herself because you have decided it's a negative impact on you, when in reality it would increase her sex drive.

You in turn watch porn and mastrabate like a punished little boy which adds to the problem and increases your sex drive.

You have it backwards.

You should read the science behind libido and women's sexuality and not go on what you learned in college and from porn.[/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics