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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP, your sister called you regularly and was friendly and kind.  She visited your parents regularly and called them and even brought them gifts.

So, gifts were late.  Your parents are grown ups.  How about appreciating gifts?  Who are you to audit the frequency of her contact with your parents, the content of her gifts, and the date of their delivery?  You have SUCH a huge chip on your shoulder.

Question here.  If you are SO concerned about your parents' heartbreak and loneliness, why did you move so far away?  If you are so heartbroken that they are lonely, then YOU move back and visit them with your children daily or whatever you think your sister should be doing.

Your sister's annoyance with you is warranted.  And maybe you think your annoyance with her is warranted and you're proud of yourself for criticizing her via email.  That's between you two.  But WTF?!  You expect your mother to stop speaking to her because YOU are annoyed with her?  You expect your mother to punish your sister and push her away because your sister doesn't feel like talking to you?  What planet are you from that you think your mom should push away your sister to punish her for not having enough contact with YOU?!

I honestly cannot imagine why your sister would want to talk to you at all after this.[/quote]

OP here wrong!!! NO she was not friendly and kind, she did not call regularly and did not visit my parents regularly and did not bring them gifts. SO lets get that straight.

I moved here to take run part of our family business. My husbands business is also here and my parents own a home here but as my mom has not been feeling well the milder weather there is much better for her. No I do not expect my mother to stop talking to my sister on anyone's account BUT considering she has vented to me for a few years off and on about all my sister did and I finally confronted her about it, I guess I expect a little "back up" for lack of a better word instead of putting myself out there like a lone wolf.

I for the record visit my parents about once every 4-5 weeks which is a lot given it involves having to get on a plane every time, ironically way more than my sister visits them who lives 15 min away via car, but I guess you are going to say that's OK too?

As my therapist said (who for the most part validated my feelings) its like of like three friends at school- friend A is always talking about friend B treating her unfairly....the hurt friend talks to the friend C  as a sounding board, who eventually gets so upset hearing how friend A is treating friend B that she on her behalf confronts friend A.  But then friend B does not back her up and decides she wants to keep the peace and be friends with both girls.  But now there is bad blood between friend A and friend C and friend B is in a great spot as she is neutral and not on anyone's shit list. Thus the third friend put herself out there and ended up looking like the bad guy, though she was trying to be a good guy.

That's the way I see it and that is me. Its a lesson learned. My therapist did say unless my mom was willing to sit down and discuss this with my sister, she shoudl not have vented to the extent that she did about my sister and her wrong doings...naturally my brother and I became angry with her and hurt for our parents, and theres no end in sight here.[/quote]

If your therapist didn't validate your feelings she'd lose you as a client. Of course therapists tend to be sympathetic to their clients. They don't get to hear the other person's side!!!!!!
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