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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Very sad reading over this thread and I have not seen every one but there seems to be a lot of finger pointing and anger.

Obviously lots of people who do not have strong an healthy high function family relationships...a sad American phenomenon.

Sister is selfish and I do not think its unreasonable to expect a grown woman to remember her mothers birthday or Mothers Day. Anyone who does has major issues.

Furthermore nor is it unreasonable to expect a grown daughter to call/reach out to her elderly parents once a month. Does anyone really truly think that is "too  much" ? If so I feel incredibly sorry for you.[/quote]

It doesn't sound like OP's family is very healthy  to me.

Parents reap what they sow and I am willing to bet that mom and dad treated   the "wayward" sister poorly and now the price they pay is a  distant relationship.

I've seen it time and time again, the other siblings don't see it because they were treated differently  and they assume their memories are their siblings memories.

The parents assume they are entitled to a close relationship with  the adult child the did not nurture growing up.

If you want closeness  make sure you foster that.[/quote]

+100000

It's a complete lose-lose situation for the distant sibling. When they set the boundaries they need to stay sane, they feel guilty about not measuring up to what family "should" be. When they engage with the family a bit more, they're immediately singled out for being the sole responsible for the family's situation. And when they try to find a middle ground between their need for distance and their ability to be there as much as they can, they won't measure up to expectation and get pushed away even further.

OP, try putting yourself in your sister's shoes. She's caught between a rock and a hard place and you're not helping. You CANNOT guilt people into behaving in a way YOU think is right. And if you're not willing to meet your sister halfway, don't be surprised if she cuts you off for good one day.[/quote]

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