Reply to Wife having mid-life crisis and not sure how to respond

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I'm loving this thread because it is helpful for me to see the exact pattern of what happened in my own life being cleared of the layers of extra issues we have, and get down to some of the basics.

It is hard for mothers to come to the end of childbearing years ... I think we have hormonal shifts, physical shifts, emotional shifts and we are so deeply taken for granted by our families that it isn't even funny. No, she shouldn't be taking you for granted, either. It is hard to remember that when you are in the weeds and your husband smells like garlic and you kind of hate him. Maybe up your game, too?

I went the affair route, and while I can't say we are 100% out of the mess and onto the other side, we are getting there. We are both stronger and weaker than before.  If you can get out the resentments and discontent, and insecurities and hurt and anger BEFORE and affair, that is better, I'm sure. But, the affair aired everything. Everything that had been swept under the rug before. We never would have lifted up the rug to see what was under there if I hadn't gone off the rails. I think I'm still a little off, but I do see it now, where I didn't even know what was going on before.[/quote]

You built quite a rationalization around your affair. [/quote]

+ a million

I'm a mother of four, but I have a career. I'm too busy for a midlife crisis or an affair.

Taken for granted? Why not use your big girl voice and address such issues head on? You were selfish to have an affair, and you are the only person to blame. Own it, and maybe people would respect you. [b]Continue to play the victim, and everyone will write you off[/b]. [/quote]

+ a billion

This is my XW (SAHM and more kids than you) and why my late teen and early 20' daughters despise her.  BTW I am too busy for a relationship as well and don't mind it at this stage in my life.

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