Reply to Found husband's profile on a "cheating" website, what do I do??

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Reply to "Found husband's profile on a "cheating" website, what do I do??"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]How is your sexlife? That is the most accurate measure of a man's happiness in a marriage.[/quote]

Not at all true.  Many victims of cheaters are puzzled by the cheating because the sex life has been good.  Good sex life doesn't prevent cheating. [/quote]

Nothing can ever completely prevent cheating. But sex is a powerful motivator for men.
Who do you think is more likely to use a cheating website: the man who is sexually satisfied at home, or the a man who (every single day) feels unloved and horny?
Not blaming OP, but she claimed shock over their "happy marriage" so this seems like a pertinent question - which she chose not to answer.[/quote]

I don't know the percentage of people who cheat who are in sexless or boring sex marriages versus those that are not, but there are men with very active sex lives who cheat.  My husband cheated even though we had sex around 4 times a week and I was very into it and willing to both experiment with what he wanted and ask for new things myself.  It was not just some boring "duty" sex. I was completely perplexed by my husband's cheating because it meant he was actually having sex with two people on the same day (he had an affair with a coworker and they would get it on during work hours, and then he would come home and be with me - it makes me very repulsed), which seemed just nuts to me.  His reason for the affair - the OW made him feel important.  I guess he thought I failed at that, though he didn't tell me how he felt at the time.

But even if you aren't having the best sex ever, the solution is not to cheat.  The solution is to talk to your spouse and figure out what the deal is and whether it's fixable.  And sometimes you might just have to not have amazing sex for a period of time, like when kids are super small, etc.  Personally, I was very not into sex from between when I was five or six months pregnant to several months after having a baby.  I think it is reasonable for sex to dwindle during those times - they are intense and stressful.  If you can't deal with that kind of timeframe, and getting your rocks off is more important than handling a temporary drought, I think that's a character flaw.  I probably sound like a peach, but the complaining about not being able to have sex during that period of life really burns me.[/quote]

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