Reply to This stepmonster gem from Carolyn Hax

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I think that part of the problem is that I can imagine circumstances when it would absolutely make sense to pull a kid out of a fancy private school.  For example, if one of the kids developed severe medical issues and the decision was to have Dad stay home for a few years and use the insurance payout to replace income.  Or if a child who was doing well in a rigorous private in early years began to flounder as the difficulty level increased.  Or the father experiences sustained unemployment, and decides it's better to keep the girls in their family home than in their school.  Or one girl has her heart set on studying abroad for her senior year and wants to disenroll and use her tuition for that.

So, part of the challenge is to write the will so that the surviving has enough flexibility to reallocate the money in "right" ways, while protecting the kids from situations like stepmonster.  Hopefully an expert can help sort that out. [/quote]

This is why you have a trust and designate a non-conflicted party (i.e. not biodad) as a trustee to make these decisions.  A will cannot account for many changes in circumstances.  But a trustee can be authorized to pay out for categories of things as the trustee sees fit - educational expenses, living expenses, health expenses, etc. - without mandating so.   Then trustee can pay living expenses short term if Dad loses a job, but can refuse to do do just because Dad wants a fancy mansion.[/quote]

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