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[quote=Anonymous]Guy here....

Just a thought OP, but maybe your husband's perception of you--especially when you say things like "I've never freaked out about spending/Netflix watching/etc...--is different than your own perception of yourself.  You may think you're being easy going, but he may sense some underlying disappointment or displeasure even if you claim not to care.

An example from my life: my wife is a vegan and I'm a meat eater.  Just from her presence and for health reasons, I've basically adopted a vegan diet Monday-Thursday.  While I'm thankful for the health benefits I've seen from my half vegan diet (lower BP, cholesterol, weight loss), sometimes by the time Thursday rolls around I can barely slog through another spinach salad with veggies and hummus on top.  There's been an instance or two when I didn't bring lunch and DW conversationally asked my "what'd you get for lunch today?" and I've quickly defaulted to the healthy salad place, instead of saying I got the tacos with sour cream at the Mexican place.  My DW is really cool and would never have cared about the Mexican, but it was instinctively almost a "I don't want to disappoint her" feeling that spurred the white lie.

My point is I think it's entirely plausible that these little white lies may be innocuous.  Maybe he was burnt out at work and just wanted to use the surgery thing to take a couple of days off.  He probably told his co-workers that the doc recommended a day or two, and just went with that.  You'll probably say "Why didn't he just tell me that?  I wouldn't have cared."  That's a valid Q, but maybe he didn't want you to see him vulnerable, or didn't feel like getting into his work burnout.  Maybe he felt a little guilty that he wanted to loaf at home and binge watch House of Cards, and thought you'd use those days off against him when he couldn't take that extra day off around the holidays.  You do seem to have a very intricate involvement with his schedule, whereabouts, etc...this level of depth may be exhausting for him--possibly to the point where he almost has to scramble just to get the truth right.  Almost the same premise of getting nervous talking to a police officer, even if you have nothing to hide.  I may be a model citizen but I feel a little uneasy trying to make sure I'm answering the officer's questions correctly etc.

Just some thoughts...good luck.[/quote]

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