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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP - in a woman with a child - elementary school - and I AGREE with you. I consider myself to be well rounded and well read - I work and I contribute to the household. However I have seen that I've alway put my DD first and sometimes forget about my husbands needs. I think as a couple you have to still out each other first. DH needs to fulfill my needs and I his - life shouldn't revolve around our child only. I realized I was doing this and have tried to make a change. I think too many women do this - out their husbands second and make it all about the kids. We need to stop and think and realize that we have a partnership (this goes for men too). [/quote]

+1
DW here with 3 kids between 3-10 and working full time. No nanny so still do lots of house work. DH is very involved with the kids but I do most of the house work. I can confirm it is very hard to balance kids and romance/DH. For many years after giving birth, I loathed sex and I think he was so sad and even complained. I think for most men sex is everything. After reading a lot of threads to what extend men really wanted/value sex and for fear of him cheating, I started having more of it FOR HIM. I even pretended I was in, but wasn't there, I did for him, with no expectations (I had literally given up on us ever connecting). He could not connect with me emotionally to the level I desired and could not could not understand my emotional need which meant everything to me. On top of doing it for him, I also deliberately worked on my attitude, complained less and just did what I could. Surprisingly he is so much happier and started taking more interest in me and my emotional vacuum. I have also started liking the sex much more and our relationship has become much better. I think lack of sex was killing him and I am glad I started just by doing it for him.[/quote]

DW, you are inspiring. I'm a bachelor that's terrified of marriage because of the scenario you describe here. Unfortunately, I don't think most DWs are this self-aware and willing to do such a 180. [/quote]

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