Reply to Mom still talks trash about other woman (now dad's wife)

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Admittedly, my dad behaved really badly - [b]affair for multiple years, brought my then-toddler brother to trysts, and had his marriage to my mom annulled so he could marry OW (now his wife/ our stepmom in the Catholic Church). [/b]Obviously our home life was dramatically affected when the truth emerged - I was in my mid-teens and my brother was in elementary.

The thing is, at any opportunity my mom will launch into a tirade about this woman. I'm less affected because I left home a couple of years after they split, but my brother dealt with a decade plus of shared custody etc - so I think my mom's narrative affects him more. Once again, I totally understand my mom's anger, but it's exhausting to hear her tear into this woman so often. [b]Frankly, I think it reflects badly on her at this point - this all happened fifteen years ago. [/b]

How can I change the subject when she starts up? Is there any way I can gently suggest finding an outlet for her feelings, or indicate that these tirades make me (and my brother) feel uncomfortable? [/quote]

What a bad daughter! Your mom gets screwed over by your dad, and she should just get over it?

You SHOULD NOT HAVE ANY RELATIONSHIP WITH YOUR FATHER!

He's a piece of shit. [/quote]

Really? The children should not have a relationship with their own father because he hurt their mother? Who does that help, exactly?[/quote]

When you cheat on the spouse you equally cheat on the kids, hence family.  Yes he is a pos, and while it's up to OP I would stand by her mom.  Forget the dad, it was long over apparently.[/quote]  This.  BTW, you don't get to put a limit on someone else's pain.  Not only was she screwed over by her husband.  Her kids are pretty unfeeling, too.[/quote]

OP here. I'm not unfeeling. You are, but I'm not. I don't seek to put a limit on my mother's pain, but here personal and vicious attacks on stepmom feel a lot like emotional incest - more so when I was *still in high school.*[/quote]

Ugh I'm right there with you op. Mom complains and then sends you off for the weekend with Dad and other woman per the agreement. And then as a kid you feel awkward even being there after hearing the attacks on OW but you have no choice. 
In my case, dad and OW split up. But man, those were some tough years. [/quote]

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