Reply to S/O: Ladies - Would you have sex more often

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]So much of the male complaining about this issue boils down to: "why can't a woman be more like a man?"

Women are not men. The average woman's sex drive is less than a man's, and the average woman is aroused by different mechanisms than a man is. (E.g., men tend to be much more visual.)

If you want to have sex with someone who is more like you, you are free to find another man and do so. If you want to have sex with a woman, I guess you will have to accept that women might be different from you. That doesn't mean that woman can't work harder to "own her shit." But it does mean that she can own every inch of her shit and [i] she still might not want sex as much as you do and still might not "desire" you in the way that you want.[/i][/quote]

Actually no. The male complaint is that women's sex drive and changes drastically after marriage and kids.
If she had been upfront about facebook/DCUM/netflix being a higher priority than sex while dating, then shame on me for marrying such a person.
But I feel justified in complaining about this post-facto and unilateral priority shift.[/quote]

Again, this reflects is a fundamental misunderstanding of the biology of female sexuality. And again, if you want to have sex with someone who thinks about and wants sex no matter what other shit is going on in one's life and no matter how old/postpartum/perimenopausal/menopausal one is, you should find another man.[/quote]

And if you want to live in a platonic relationship with a partner who prefers Netflix to sex, you should marry another woman.  But if you decide to be with a man, don't be surprised when his sex drive remains constant regardless of your disinterest. And the if you chose not to prioritize some amount of frequent sex with him, don't wonder why he is taking 9pm yoga classes with a female friend from work.
[/quote]

You know what I can respect a couple who gets divorced because they realize they have grown apart and aren't being good partners to each other.

I can't respect someone who cheats because he/she isn't getting what he wants and then expects their spouse to just take it. [/quote]

Women really would rather divorce than put out regularly???[/quote]

Everything in this thread is taken to the extreme. I would rather divorce if I was married to someone who cheated on me [b]instead of working out our sexual issues[/b] yes. I would accept my husband divorcing me because we weren't a good match although that would suck a lot. [/quote]

NP here.  How willing are you to work out your sexual issues (hypothetically; I have no idea whether you do or don't in your marriage)?  Many here don't seem all that concerned with working out their sexual issues with their husband.  [/quote]

I personally am very open to working on issues that might arise (I do not have this issue with my DH). But I will say that if my DH framed it in this way, ie, my sexual problem was a make-or-break issue in our marriage and that if I was unable to bring myself to the level he expected with the enthusiasm he expected than he would feel entitled to go outside our marriage to meet that need. If he framed the problem that way I would likely feel very hurt and it would really impact my trust in his commitment to me and our relationship which would do nothing but exacerbate the issue. [/quote]

I definitely understand how an ultimatum would be hurtful, but I think a man who is driven to the point of making ultimatums has probably tried everything else short of cheating.  [/quote]

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