Reply to Is it really that hard for women in their 30's to date?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I spent my 20s just being single had a very short relationship in my very early 30s, and have been single again for over a year. 
So I've given up. I will not find a guy, and I'm ok with being alone. (No, I do not have any cats!) 
I went back to school and envision myself living in hawaii as a nurse, sipping Mai Tai's and enjoying my lonesome life. Doesn't sound terrible in my head.

So for me, dating is hard no matter what age I am. [/quote]

Not that there is anything wrong with being single, but I don't see why you are "giving up" in your early 30s. [/quote]

Because outside of a 4 months "relationship" I've been single for close to 9 years. I just don't think it's in the cards for me. [/quote]

Then there are a few things that may be going on:

You pick unavailable men or men out of your league and waste time getting to know men who won't "date"
You're unavailable yourself 
You don't date.  You aren't dating online or even meeting eligible men

I promise any idiot can fall in love and get married.  It's a numbers game and also realizing you need to date relationship minded men.  
[/quote]

I do online dating but it's hard. I meet guys. 
But 99% of guys I meet and show interested are either already in relationships and want me as a side piece, just got out of a relationship and don't want to date but wouldn't mind hooking up or are generally looking for more than sex. I only met two guys in the last few years that were truly interested in dating  and one I just wasn't attracted to, the other I did date but the relationship was bad, he wasn't treated me right and was disrespectful so I ended it after 4 months.

I know my league. I am not hot or perfect, I have a attractive face but I'm overweight and dress for my body type. I get compliments from guys on the street. I  have a wide variety of interests and love my job and school so I'm not bitter. Just kinda the girl next door. 
I've just always been a buddy and friend but guys never seemed to see dating potential in me. 
At this point I don't know what I'm doing wrong. I just attract guys with the wrong intentions and the ones with good ones just want to be friends.

Now, literally all my friends are married so there is a lot less possibility for me to go out and meet guys in real life unless I go out by myself.

So I guess I'm the idiot that's never been in love, won't fall in love and won't get married. [/quote]

Join a Gym and get in shape.   If you are overweight, it is an obstacle.    Of course some men will overlook it, but realistically, many will not.   Working out will also improve your attitude and give you more confidence.   You may even meet a man at the gym.   That is where I met my wife and we have been married for 15 years now.   Good luck.[/quote]

I tried that before and will try again. But right now with school and such, a gym membership just isn't doable. I generally think I have a good attitude. I also don't look at date guys with perfect bodies. I don't mind guys who are also overweight. Like I said, I know my league. 
I know some guys were turned off after a few dates because I don't think I want kids, so I know that is a problem. I did meet a great guy last summer but we weren't sexually compatible. 
I was always bad at dating so I'm not surprised to be single in my 30s. [/quote]

Are you sure that you know your "league"?

Men are shallow when it comes to physical fitness. I say that as a man.

But, they are much more easy going when it comes to a potential wife's career/wealth, etc.

A schlubby-looking guy, with a good job, might see himself as more of a "catch" than a slightly overweight women with a similar job, due to the difference between how men and women evaluate each other.

As you have noticed, some guys will only be open to you as a "side chick." You might try pushing for exclusivity earlier on to avoid them.

If you don't want kids, it's going to be an issue for a man in his thirties. Even men are feeling pressure by that age. It's good that you are up-front about it, but realize that it's going to limit your pool.

"I did meet a great guy last summer but we weren't sexually compatible." What does this mean?

I would utilize online dating services as much as possible to filter for men who don't want kids.[/quote]

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