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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I'm a big fan of saying no to things I don't want to do. The end. But I have to wonder if the long and expensive vacations you've taken were also long flights? If so you can't use/ and shouldn't use flight anxiety as a a reason to not go.[/quote]

OP here. I've really enjoyed reading all the responses. It has definitely helped clarify my thinking.

[b]At the end of the day, I really can't give one excellent excuse as to why we are not going on the full tour. [/b]Because, in reality, we will almost certainly take one more family vacation that is as long, as expensive, and involves flying. But, you know what, I know myself and my immediate family well enough to know that a group travel experience to Israel would be a completely miserable experience. It is honestly the perfect storm of politics, religion, and group  travel dynamics that have made for some pretty spectacular disasters over the last decade. And, I'm just going to own that I'm not willing to spend that amount of financial, temporal, or emotional resources on a miserable experience.  I am willing to spend the resources necessary to attend the main event. And, if that calculus seems crazy to even a reasonable outsider it's still what works for our family.

[/quote]

Question - why does this have to be at one or the other extreme?  The Bat Mitzvah is obviously really significant, but the 'Tour Of Israel' part is really just a (culturally relevant) extended family vacation.

If it would be meaningful to have your whole family there why not bring everyone to the event and then go off for your own family vacation, either in Israel or taking a flight to somewhere you want to go that's on the way home?  Basically use the Bat Mitzvah and 2 days as a way to get you all to the event, then go off and do your own vacation in Austria or Moroco or Iceland or wherever it is you all want to go?[/quote]

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