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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]^^^^ I went back and read some of your answers OP.  It sounds like you're judging him for failing to live up to your standards academically.  Not that what he said to you is ok- it's not- but he could be rebelling against what he perceives is your judgment that he is not up to your standard.  That would make sense, given what he is saying when he's lashing out at you.  Children need limits.  They also need to feel loved unconditionally, not because they get good grades.  If I were in your position I'd do two things.  I'd lay off the academic pressure, and I'd stress that it's more important to be kind and respectful than to get good grades.  And when he's disrespectful, I'd take his favorite thing away. [/quote]

+1 and I would add that you should talk to him about his goals and plans for the future, and not just tell him that he needs to go to a good college and get a good job because you said so.  If he doesn't know what he wants to do, he may not see the point in working hard at school to get into a good college.  I was a little bit like him at that age (though never quite so rude to my mom!) and something that helped me was when my dad told me "You don't close any doors by doing your best at whatever it is you're doing.  You can close doors by not putting in the effort."  I.e., you may not be sure you want to go to college, but you don't close any doors by working hard at school instead of slacking.  And if you decide you do want to go to college, then you have the option to do so.  If you just stop trying and get bad grades, then you are closing that door for yourself.  Having a conversation like that might help him.[/quote]

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