Reply to DCUM DWs -- what is your BMI?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]20, and yes my DH cares. He made it very clear when we were dating that he would not be attracted to me if I was fat. [/quote]

Boy, sounds like a happy marriage.  :roll: [/quote]

[b]What is so wrong about upfront honesty?[/b]
My wife has gained 50 pounds.
Guess what, I am NOT attracted to her now !

(yes, I am still fit like a college athlete)[/quote]

Because life is long and body shapes are not guaranteed.  If you can't love your partner, and find a way to be attracted, when they are up 50 lbs, you are not meant for marriage.[/quote]

Not PP, but where's the cut-off...100 pounds overweight, 200 pounds overweight?  [b]I don't think it is reasonable to say marriage means being physically attracted to your spouse forever and ever[/b], no matter what happens.  Instead, I think it is about loving your spouse no matter what and basing intimacy on that love and shared history when the attraction isn't there.

FWIW, I'm a woman.[/quote]

The fact that you're looking for a cutoff is weird. What's the cutoff for you sticking around, lung cancer? But after a mastectomy you're out? Or if he has a limb amputated see ya later?

Clearly someone who is 200 pounds overweight has a serious health problem and needs to see a doctor but to act like that would happen and the other person would have a right to just walk away? It's the only thing in this category its very strange. No one would say that a woman who had a double mastectomy deserves to be walked away from because her body didn't keep it's end of the bargain.

And honestly once you hit 60...I mean how physically attractive is a 65 year old woman expected to be?[/quote]

Reading comprehension is important.  The point of the post was very clearly not about staying or leaving.  The point was that it is unreasonable to expect physical attraction at all times.  Posters have been clearly saying that the fact that a man is not attracted to his overweight spouse makes him a bad spouse.  I think that is unreasonable - intimacy and connection and love are more important.[/quote]

If you say marriage means attraction and attraction goes away at a certain point then it isn't an insane leap of logic to believe you're talking about when it is morally acceptable to bail.

I don't think its unreasonable to expect spouses to put in effort to their appearances but I think the level to which DCUM males focus on this and the fact that we have an entire thread dedicated to women being asked to list out their BMIs IS unreasonable. [/quote]

Um, I believe the post says "I [b]don't [/b] think it is reasonable to say marriage means being physically attracted to your spouse forever and ever."  In other words, marriage does not mean physical attraction.

Agreed regarding the focus of men on the board, but I think there is a reasonable undercurrent about expecting your spouse to care as long as you are not making stay or leave decisions on this when there otherwise is intimacy, respect, love, friendship (i.e., the real building blocks of marriage).[/quote]

Ah sorry yes I did misunderstand (twice!) oops. [/quote]

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