Reply to DCUM DWs -- what is your BMI?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]20, and yes my DH cares. He made it very clear when we were dating that he would not be attracted to me if I was fat. [/quote]

Boy, sounds like a happy marriage.  :roll: [/quote]

[b]What is so wrong about upfront honesty?[/b]
My wife has gained 50 pounds.
Guess what, I am NOT attracted to her now !

(yes, I am still fit like a college athlete)[/quote]

Because life is long and body shapes are not guaranteed.  If you can't love your partner, and find a way to be attracted, when they are up 50 lbs, you are not meant for marriage.[/quote]

I feel like one of the saddest things I've learned from DCUM is how the fact that men are visual first has this like, very destructive effect on long term relationships.

Women really don't rate attractiveness as number one. So there is so much more understanding and empathy if their husband's body changes (obviously not universal). Men rate attractiveness as number one and yet there is this huge part of a woman's life in her 30s that fundamentally changes her body in a way men never experience and so have trouble really understanding.

So there is an element of two parallel lines of resentment that grow out of this. Men that their women have 'let themselves go' and women that men don't understand why it's hard for them and don't understand why men's 'love' is tied to something that is very difficult for women to maintain and isn't something they prioritize themselves. [/quote]

Or worse. The wife resents the husband because he dumps the majority of the household and kid work on her, and that cortisol spike and lack of time exacerbate the weight gain.[/quote]

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