Reply to My neighbors think I'm an abused wife

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous] I'm the PP from 9:12 and 10:20

OP
I realize the damage is done and it might help if you also go to counseling for it. This is why I changed I didn't have a clue that it can be this destructive even w/o physical abuse.

I feel for you I hope your hubby would change before it gets any worst. He know it bothers you but to what extent I don't think he understand that yet.

Did you tell him- does he know -how just seeing the signs, body language, facial expression triggers something in you?  If he doesn't I think it's important that he should.[/quote]

I have explained and expressed it to him and clearly as any person could. I am a good communicator. But he (a) proudly defines himself as a good person - admitting the severity of the actions would require him to alter his self-view, and I believe that is frightening and painful for him; and (b) I think maybe grew up in a home where this was normal. I'm not sure about that, but that kind of "passion" doesn't seem to faze him. And he has no sisters so it's easy for him to dismiss my reaction as "sensitivity." [/quote]

I don't know what else to say. I didn't have any sisters either is probably why I was clueless. But my real turning point was when I saw a good friend of mine acting like me and your dh towards his wife.

It was surreal watching that behaviour from the outside. I actually thought my friend was a "dick" then I quickly realized Im just like him. It was an eye opener for sure.
Good luck.[/quote]

OP here - I keep wishing he would witness something like this. I told him, "If you had seen this happening with another couple, you would have thought that woman was being abused."

One time he was yelling while we were in the car and I recorded it on my phone. Some time later, when he was calm, I played it back for him. He was mortified and it was a real turning point for him to start dealing with the problem. [/quote]

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