Reply to Bf doesn't want to get me a nice rock

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My BF has told me that he can't afford to get me a nice rock even though we have been dating for 4 years and have been talking marriage for 3. I just feel hurt because he could've saved about 7k easily by now but he didn't and now he wants to get me a whatever Rock just because. [/quote]

Let him buy whatever he wants for you. I assume he isn't splurging for expensive new cars or toys for himself, right?

[b]Frankly the engagement ring is a reflection of the fiance/husband, and your commitment of course.[/b] So he's only embarrassing himself if he's selectively being a cheapskate or has some issue with diamonds.

If you want diamond earrings or another diamond ring on your right hand, you can buy that!

Separately, dating for 4 years and speaking about marriage for 3 years sounds AWFUL. Are you sure he's not just throwing out lame excuses and statements in efforts to get you to dump him? Is he passive aggressive like that?  Then he can turn around and say XYZ dumped me for something trivial like a small engagement ring, or not wanting to wait 6 more months, or not liking my financial position, or not liking how I leave stale pizza everywhere (even tho it's something you have talked and talked about.) [/quote]

Having a big engagement ring only proves that he bought you a big engagement ring.  It is not a reflection on the commitment or the type of marriage you will have.  TBH, if my BF (now DH)  bought a big ring that he arguably could not afford, sure I would know he loved me - but I would certainly question marrying a man who could be financially irresponsible like that.  It would tell me that this is a guy who is comfortable living above his means and who does not make prudent financial decisions.  Anyone who places themselves in financial straits buying a ring is a fool!   You show your level of commitment by working towards common goals.  If my BF saved up $10,000 for us to buy a house, he is my man.  If he expects me to live in an apartment for the first few years while sporting a $10,000 ring, we would need to have a serious talk about where this was going.

I think OP has other reasons to be concerned - as you said, I am not sure this guy wants to marry her.   [/quote]

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