Reply to An immigrants musings on the SAHM vs working mom debate

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I am a Pakistani immigrant in the United States and I love this country and the liberties I am offered here as a young woman. When I peruse this website, I am often shocked at the bitterness that seems to engulf most working women/moms on DCUM. Where I come from, women are not allowed to work. The woman's place is considered to be the kitchen and her primary duty in life is to bear children and care for them. This attitude is so prevalent that many across the country deem it unnecessary to send their girls to school.

Among the upper classes, girls do receive quite a good liberal arts education at their exclusive private schools. These girls, however, are expected to stick to "feminine" subjects such as literature, arts, painting, music and history. Upon graduation they are sent to either private liberal arts colleges abroad where they obtain a degree in a field such as art or photography and then when they return back to the country after graduating, they promptly get married off to wealthy men at least 5 years their senior.

These women then, live all the trappings of the upper/upper middle class life that so many on here wish for. They have chauffeurs, chefs and an army of servants. Their primary role is to bear children and groom them for the upper class life.  They never have to worry about money since they are married to "provider husbands" and all they do is host tea parties and gossip about each other.

Some of them are really happy with this set up. Many however, are not. Many girls get sucked into this system without ever having a say in it. They don't usually have a choice in studying what they want or marrying who they want or being someone other than a tea party hosting society wife.  Many women also deeply resent that fact that they never get to earn their own income. They are supported by their parents in childhood to their husbands and in laws after marriage. This obviously puts them in a supreme economic disadvantage and dependent on their families and husbands. If things aren't going well, the women have no way out except to stick it out and suffer. Many have never had the chance to find true love, develop a sense of independence or live life on their own terms.

Among the lower classes things are worse. Along with the lack of freedom and autonomy, the women here kept in poverty since working outside of the home is considered shameful. Some do venture out and get employed as servants or clothes washers but they are paid poorly and usually mistreated, sexually assaulted etc.

Coming to America and living the average life here is a dream. I LOVE that I have economic independence from my parents and my husband. I work, not necessarily because I WANT to. It fulfills me, helps me develop my skills and grow my mind and help contribute e to my household. It is a privilege to be able to earn a paycheck doing work I want and wear what I want and go where I want.

I'd never ever take this for granted. I don't envy SAHM wives at all! I love being able to contribute to society and earn my own living. It is a privilege afforded to so few![/quote]

This is utter BS.

I don't know what backwards, trashy people you know from but there are more women in medical school in Pakistan than men.

Most of the women in my family work (as doctors, lawyers, engineers, published journalists and authors, very, very successful business owners, professors (at American and Pakistani universities, architects, etc) and have attended the following colleges and graduate schools: Oxford, Cambridge, Duke, Harvard, Princeton, the University of Michigan, Williams, Cornell, Stanford, RISD, Brown, Yale, Tufts, Wellesley, MIT, Johns Hopkins, Agha Khan and Dow Medical Colleges (in Pakistan), etc, etc  --- and that's JUST my sisters and first cousins).

And these women (including me) have been supported by their husbands, brothers, aunts & uncles, etc.

You're either a troll or have kept very bad company.

[/quote]

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