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[quote=Anonymous]I was AMA (37) when DH & I got married and we wanted to be parents so much. We discovered that he had the fertility issue. Extremely low count, morphology & motility issues. So then we were in similar shoes to the OP - if there was going to be a baby, it was going to be via IVF + ICSI. It was covered by our insurance (3 attempts per live birth), so thankfully it wasn't a significant cost for us.

It ended up taking a couple of tries, and it was pretty grueling. I got used to giving myself the shots, but the day-of calls to say whether or not I had to come in for an appointment, etc was hard to do, especially while trying to keep it private. And the hormones totally made me feel jacked up and anxious for a good deal of the time, like being inexplicably on the verge of a panic attack for days at a time.

It had a happy ending for us - healthy child that is the light of our lives. If I had to do it all over again, if it meant getting her at the end of it all I'd do it, but in reality it really did take me a long time to get over the resentment toward DH of having had to put myself through all that to get a baby. Totally irrational, but also totally honest. We've got all the equipment for it, so for better or worse it falls on our shoulders to do it.

If you or others are thinking this through, I can't emphasize enough how important it is to have some kind of self care in place because the sheer joy of getting a baby via IVF - no matter how desperately it was wanted - doesn't necessarily take care of the bad parts. It can really suck, even if it goes the way you want it to.

Knowing what I know now, I wouldn't want someone in OP's shoes to enter into IVF without her DH *really* getting how hard it's going to be and having a good plan that they agree on for how to navigate it and for him to be as supportive as possible.[/quote]

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