Reply to snooping

Forum Index » Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)

Reply to "snooping"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Here is a good explanation about why "snooping" is good for a marriage and blind trust is bad.

http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi8121_snoop.html

[/quote]

To each their own, but if my spouse said I wasn't entitled to privacy because I was now married, I would end my marriage.[/quote]

What are you keeping "private"?[/quote]

Or communications with a therapist. Maybe I am worried about you. Maybe I think you need help and I am talking to your mom and sister.

Or maybe it's work related. I'm a lawyer and I sometimes get texts and emails. That's none of your business and your snooping could have serious consequences to others.

You are controlling and insecure. If you couldn't pick a partner you could trust, that's your problem. [/quote]

+1.  Or maybe I was communicating with my parents about a health issue that they did not want divulged (that was a true example for me). [/quote]

Why didn't they want your husband/wife to know? Couldn't he be helpful with doctors appointment, maybe he has a friend that is a specialist in that area,... my H would be very helpful in this area so no.. it would not be a secret that my parents have health related issues.

Though part of my family is Asian and everything must be kept a secret from their childre, they have no clue grandma has leukemia event though one of them walked in "light the night" for her. Bizarre. [/quote]

Why they (the owners of the information) what it kept private is irrelevant. If they want it kept secret, respect their wishes. Or be forthright and tell them upfront that you cannot be trusted to keep a confidence. Period.

If your spouse might have information, ask. Say "Hey!  My spouse could really provide awesome input!  Do you mind if I run it past them?"

If the answers "no" then deal with it. It isn't your story. You are being trusted to secure a person's vulnerability. It's not your place to choose what to do with it. [/quote]

I would absolutely say "do not tell me anything you expect me to hide from my spouse". If they don't want my spouse to know they should not tell me. They should respect my decision not to keep secrets in my marriage. It is absolutely nobody's else's choice on how I conduct my relationship with my H. Nobody is more important than my H.

If they want me as a confidant my H and I are a package deal. Nobody, nobody has ever ask me to keep information from my H and I am very much the person everybody turns to when they have a family crisis.

They also know I will not share it with anybody else, and my H won't share it.

[/quote]

+100000 don't tell me anything expecting me to keep it a secret from my spouse. I wouldn't necessarily end up telling him but I don't believe in secrets. Something might not come up but I'm never going to intentionally withhold information from him[/quote]

News weather and sports for you too!  [/quote]

I totally respect that someone might decide to not tell me something as a result! I have prioritized my relationship with my husband. Other relationships are important, but the marriage is the central relationship in my life. Totally fine if that isn't how everyone operates, I don't ask other people to live the way I do, just that they respect the choices I have decided to make. [/quote]

That's great. We all make choices. Just be sure to tell people that you made that choice so they can make choices too.

And don't be surprised or hurt when your BFF Betty now turns to Verinica to confide in and seek support from. But at least you'll know what Betty ate at the Caps game!

Your friends value you. They don't by default value your husband. [/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics