Reply to Why did you cheat on your spouse?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Why do people asshme that cheating folks havent talked begged pleaded with their apouse, havent gone to counseling etc. Some of the folks who cheat have done all you suggest and more and nothing has changed and if touch is your love language and the person you loved and made vows to isnt touching you and doesn't care that you need that well sometimes just sucking it up and dealing isnt possible. You cannot look at it narrowly. Cheating is not right but neither is cutting off intimacy in your marriage and just expecting your partner to be OK with it. When one of the shrill people acknowledges that I will stop posting in this thread. [/quote]

+1 I think if you look at affairs its probably 10% or people that are asshats and want some sex with someone else or fall pray to carnal desire.  The other 90% would be people who have done everything they can think of to have this part of their relationship but are not able to.  We have tried different strategies, i have made changes to myself, counseling.  At this point there is nothing left to turn to but that she just does not care enough about me to realize how painful this is.  I don't want a divorce because I like her, respect her, she is a great mother and outside of sex we get along really well.  Not having sex with your partner is violating your marriage contract as well, so I am not sure why deniers get a pass but people that decide they need to take action to make themselves happy when their spouse actively decides not to get painted as selfish asseholes who don't have any morals.  If you ask any cheater if they would rather be doing what they are doing with their AP with their spouse, I think 90% would say yes.[/quote]

I guess that puts me in the asshat camp. It isn't that I was out for some strange, but I didn't actually try with my DH, and we were having (bad, disconnected) sex. And fell pray to emotions and sexual desire, yes.[/quote]

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