Reply to What do you think of a single, childless 40 years old woman?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Op here- I agree that I was overly picky or looking for the wrong things until I was at least 37. I just didn't want to settle and I'm glad I didn't. But my choices also mean I probably won't ever have my own kids. Weird thing is that I don't feel too sad about that? Maybe the PPs are right that subconsciously maybe I've just wanted to be alone until now. I spent so many years travelling the world and living a kind of selfish life and I don't regret any of that. Maybe if I'd found the one earlier I'd be regretting not seeing the world. But now I'm ready to meet someone and hope it's still possible. Maybe therapy would help?  [/quote]

I do think you prioritized work above being in a relationship and that was fine if that is what you wanted.  I remember having the opportunity to work abroad at 25 and I thought, if I go now and come back in a few years I could miss out on meeting the one for me.  I decided not to go and I was right.  I met my DH when I was 25 and around the time I met him I was meeting lots of guys - it was raining men.  There is a part of me that would still love the chance to live abroad post college but it wasn't more important to me than finding love and being a mom.  In my 20's I knew I would rather not be in a relationship than be in a bad relationship and had planned to go the sperm donor route so I could be a mom if I never got married.

I don't know what you would learn in therapy unless it was fear that drove your decision like afraid of getting too close or getting hurt and work, picking people you know it won't work out etc. is your way of making sure no one gets too close.  If you honestly did not want to settle back then there is nothing wrong with that.  I honestly believe there is a lid for every pot and you have to find the guy that works with your personality.  Maybe the guy that is the workaholic or the introvert would work well with your independent provided that you had other shared values.[/quote]

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