Reply to New baby and in-laws (venting)

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]It seems unfair to not give both sets of grandparents equal time with the grandchild. Once a week doesn't seem a lot. And of course they'd rather see the baby than you. Surely them holding the baby, bathing it or rocking it is a huge help?[/quote]

Did you read the thread?  It's not a huge help to guilt trip a new mom who is trying to find her footing.  To demand time on your schedule, not on her's.  To pile on guilt about time spent with someone who IS supportive and helpful. These are not helpful things at ALL.  They are the opposite of helpful.[/quote]

Yes, but none of that has been really established. The OP thinks her MIL wants to replace her, to be the baby's mom. I don't think th eOP Is responding or taking in information rationally. Several people expressed kind and sincere sentiments that she look into PPD and she responded with sarcasm. Not a good sign

The evidence suggests that a MIL, with other grandchildren and a prior great relationship, is not trying to step in and steal the mom role from OP. I think her perceptions are all skewed right now.[/quote]

The fact that the MIL is complaining to OP's husband and getting jealous of the mother suggets that she is far from blameless. Plus, it doesn't really matter. OP is feeling stressed and overwhelmed by her ILs. She is a new mom and should be supported by people who make her feel stronger and better. Grandparents do not have some kind of moral right to equal access to a newborn. If they had any sense and compassion they would understand that it is totally natural for a woman to want to be with her own mother after she had a baby.

Also important to note - OP does not want to cut her ILs off; she just wants to put some reasonable boundaries in place and stop their drama.

Short answer: MILs need to realize that a new baby is not about them and their feelings. it is about supporting the whole family unit at a sensitive time. if you figure out what your DIL wants and needs from you, you will reap the rewards later with grandbaby time! Don't let your own emotions trick you into thinking that this is all about you. [/quote]

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