Reply to Elite privates and social dynamics for a fat mom

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP,

If you're like me (and many others) who grew up with weight issues (and you mentioned high school so perhaps I'm correct), it's not a surprise that you think the reason these Moms aren't bonding is that you're not slim, coiffed and heeled.   But OP, unless you're reality show material (and you're not from what you wrote), then you are wrong.

You are a person, first and foremost.  [b]If you want to explore new friendships, what's a cardinal rule?  Get out of your own head and find out what makes them tick as people, not as clothes, shoes and hair.  [/b]

As a person, you have every right not to be pals with everyone.  You have a right to choose.  But you can only choose if you find out about what you'd be choosing.

Remember, you're a new family.   What about the other families?  Have they been at the school through multiple children?  It's always hard to be the new ones on the block.

If it's an elite private, you went through a parent interview.  What did you pick up during that process?  Do you have a "buddy" family assigned to you?  I'm not questioning the existence of cliques, mind you, but that's not the end of the story.

Are there school activities you're interested in being involved with?  You don't have to be president of the PTA right out of the starting gate, or even a room parent.

I'm troubled, however, by your comment that, although DC is happy at the new school, you're not getting positive responses to playdate proposals.  Which kids does your Larla want to spend time with outside school?  Again, get out of your own head and focus on learning about these kids and their families.  Who are the parents?  Is it a single parent situation with several siblings?  What does the kid like to do?  If you do child pickup, are there opportunities for casual/impromptu playdates, i.e. we're going to hang out at the playground for a little while, why don't you join us?

[/quote]

Best post I've seen on DCUM on a long time.  Can we make this a sticky and put this on the top of this forum and every other forum where a poster asks "Why can't I make any friends"?[/quote]

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