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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP here-

Our son didn't go to his game and we went to the party on time.

Thanks for your input and suggestions; especially to those of you who didn't try to vilify me or suggest that I had ulterior motives for asking the question.  [b]As it turned out, I asked MIL and she would have had no problem with us coming to the party after the game and she apologized for the back and forth, so the idea that I was "sticking it to her" in some way was off-base.[/b]  DH, as it turns out, didn't feel like "fooling with" going to the game and then the party, which really isn't a good enough reason, IMO, but there's only so much I'm willing to fight about.  DH did tell coach that our son wouldn't be there.

Events with BIL present are generally stressful and not something any of us look forward to.  DH says regularly that he "doesn't like" his brother and that he's an "ass."  SIL isn't much better and our kids don't really know one another.  Our youngest son is the same age as their oldest son, but they have little in common and at our last outing with them about a year ago, my nephew looked at our son and asked, "What's your name again?"  Fun times.

Long ago, I stopped trying to get everyone together or suggesting that DH make plans with his brother so my sons can be closer to their cousins.   I try to mitigate when their family "stuff" will cause a problem for the kids or me because there isn't anyone to keep us from getting run over.  What's interesting is that MIL and/or FIL never ask why their sons don't ever talk or get together (on the rare occasion BIL calls our house, DH will deliberately not answer the phone) or even why they hardly talk to each other if there's a family event.  MIL and FIL don't discuss BIL/SIL/nephews with us.  Plus, my FIL has a son that is estranged from him and MIL, even though they live in the same town and BIL is close to MIL's sister's family.  The whole situation is sad and strange.  It concerns me that our sons have no role models for close sibling relationships, but it is what it is.

Thanks, again![/quote]

I don't follow the logic in the bolded section.  The fact that MIL acted rationally has no bearing on what your intentions were in proposing to be late the dinner.

I also think that all of this exposition about your DH's family is more evidence that it was less about the "commitment to the game" and more about your complicated feelings toward a complicated family dynamic.[/quote]

Exactly. BIL/SIL/nephews had NOTHING TO DO WITH ANY OF THIS. It's obvious that you were conflicted for more reasons than just MIL "flakiness."[/quote]

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