Reply to Son won't talk to me after affair

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I can't imagine cutting off a parent for an affair. That said, I am adult and understand that parents are people and not a 16 yo.

OP seems to be the kind of person (I read the other thread too) who fucks up and kinda just wants to say sorry and move on and when the aggrieved party doesn't accept that or aren't ready to move on, HE feels aggrieved. I mean, he said he was sorry, right?

Anyway, adult actions have adult consequences and these are the consequences of your actions. You can continue playing the put upon victim with your wife and son -- I SAID I WAS SORRY WHAT MORE DO YOU WANT?!! -- or you can humble yourself and get to work repairing the damage you have done to your family.

[/quote]

I can understand it.  An affair is something you inflict on your whole family, which includes the powerless kids.  Once a kid leaves home, the affair isn't about them.  I fully understand that "parents are people" but we have obligations to our children to maintain a healthy environment for them. Kids flip out because the affair ruins their home life and a) they are powerless and b) the "wandering parent" often doesn't get that it is about the explosion at home that they caused, but think it is just about "adult stuff."  They don't flip out because of the immmorality of infidelity.  Lived through it.

My dad had a thousand ways to get out of his marriage without making our home a battle ground and ruining every family event for the next bunch of years.

If you want out of a marriage, get out, but in the meanwhile, keep your willy in your pants.[/quote]

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