Reply to Emotional Labor - a good read for men AND women

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Sheesh, PP.  What the other PP said was:

[quote] I want my daughter to recognize when she's doing it and make conscious decisions about why she's doing it and whether and in what way she is getting compensation. I want my son to grow up both being able to contribute emotional labor to a relationship and to not expect his mate to give it without some kind of compensation or mutuality. [/quote]

You seem to be saying that PP should ignore the topic of emotional labor altogether and not teach it at all, and rather focus on teaching independence and smarts.  But I think it's better to teach both kids about emotional labor so they're prepared for what they will face.  Why not teach them everything?

Nobody taught you about emotional labor, as you say, and frankly you don't seem to have much empathy for people who are performing it for others without getting back in kind.  This is, I think, a good reason for PP to be teaching both her kids about emotional labor and unfair burdens.  It's better to know than not to know, better to be prepared and therefore better able to pick the right spouse than be surprised about things after you're married.  Lots of women in this thread and the MetaFilter thread were saying that they were NOT prepared for how the burdens of emotional labor would fall after their marriage and particularly after their kids.  You may have picked your spouse very wisely, or you may also have gotten lucky.

[/quote]

After seeing my husband turn into a total self-centered slob who hides at the office all the time, I would be more than happy if my daughters never got married, never had children, and just lived a fulfilling life on their own.

I cannot imagine how difficult it is for a parent to see their adult child's marriage suffering.  See the spouse not caring about things or "forgetting" things left and right?  See their verbal communication skills at rock bottom.  See the spouse prioritize him/herself over the spouse, children, and house time and time again.

It must be so sad and painful to watch your child go through all that for years and years. 
[/quote]

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