Reply to Emotional Labor - a good read for men AND women

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Reply to "Emotional Labor - a good read for men AND women"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]The hardest part of this for me in my marriage is that I [strike]perform some emotional labor[/strike] [i]something[/i] because I think it's important but my husband doesn't think it is.  So I'm doing some stuff that he thinks has no or low value but I think has high value, and we just disagree.[/quote]

Fixed it for you, and, what exactly is wrong with this?  How is this "special" or different from changing the oil in the car?[/quote]

Not PP but this isn't special per se and is mostly different from changing the oil in that it is a different category of labor.  However the BIG difference between changing the oil and emotional labor is that *nobody questions the importance of changing the oil.* We are all aware that oil needs to be changed in the car to make it run smoothly and so if your spouse handles that task for you you (hopefully) say thank you and are appreciative.  What many women are saying is that a lot of emotional labor is exactly like changing the oil in a relationship to keep it strong and running well, but that their spouses don't seem to understand relationships enough to even see that this work needs doing, much less appreciate that their spouse benefited their marriage in doing it.

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]So even though I was always the one who [b]took care of the baby in the middle of the night[/b] etc. and otherwise wish like my husband and I could be on the same page with emotional labor, it's not as simple as a one way street in our household, and that's complicated, but really a good thing.[/quote]

I still can't quite figure out what "emotional labor" is...because it seems to me that taking care of the baby in the middle of the night is physical labor.[/quote]

I think you are right that there are different types of labor getting discussed in this thread, and that it has broadened beyond emotional labor into other types of labor that are traditionally performed by women, in this instance childcare.  [/quote]

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